JaY RanTs

Valentino Month!

2011-02-24T21:45:00.000-08:00

This month is a little anniversary of sorts. This is kind of calendar clocking that young lovers engage in. It is when two young love birds share how many days or weeks they've been together or how many months, days, and hours till their wedding.

In this month of Valentines, 9 years ago we kissed for the first time. 6 years ago we were engaged. And this year we are married for 5 years - a half decade. Okay, I warned you this is the kind of calendar games young lovers play.

I am overjoyed that love is young whatever our age. When intimate love is shared and entrusted to one other person, the rewards never stop "wowing!" I love my wife.

Nothing for the last 2 months, Random status update!

2011-01-12T07:46:00.000-08:00

Outside my window.... darkness and freezing Delhi city .

I am thinking... About many a things incl the last longest train journey like yesterday…

I am thankful for...Pinky and Nirav.

I am wearing...Beleive it… All DENIM.

I am creating.... . opportunities for the new start up that I am committed to

I am going… to distance myself form the dark past…

I am reading.... Thunaiezhuthu by S Ramakrishnan

I am hoping... Life would be just as I day dream.

I am Listening.... to Pearl Jam – Yeaild, the complete album for the 1000th time

One of my favorite things... is what I am doing now… long trains and a good digital camera

A few plans for the rest of the week... Work and a desert safari or a river rafting end of the week.

Status Quo

2010-10-29T06:08:00.000-07:00

When Chennai gets rain it changes everything. Things are wonderfully wet!

I've been feeling pretty happy these days. It is getting easier and easier to live the lively life I have set up for myself. I’d like write poetry when I'm tired. I love regrets, means that I am happy!

I am still busy, still learning, still trying to be better every day. Mostly failing at that last bit. I am getting comfortable with my failings, you know.

I am also continually making new friends. This is exhausting.

So that is where I am these days. Fine. Generally feeling better. Struggling a little with whatever it is that I am struggling with. Anyway, I am happy and well.

I am cold. Isn't that wonderful?

Hello... Is there anybody in there?

2010-09-29T14:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I sit down with myself, to write or try to read, there is a feeling that when all the business, in the sense of busy-ness, is taken away, when completely alone, there is really nothing there. There is no voice to talk to amongst myself. There is nothing within to make me smile or push me forward. Strange, considering that looking on I'm sure it looks that I'm an entirely sensible, well-travelled, well-educated(ish) kind of person. It's hard to really understand that however you're feel at this moment isn't how you've always felt, and it isn't how you will always feel; that even in ten minutes time someone may come into the room and you'll have completely changed course. Not in an insincere way, not that you're trying to seem like a cheery amenable person. Just that you only exist when someone is there. Even now it doesn't seem reasonable to have had all the thoughts that have led to these words without any conscious conversation, just with them spilling out from some void. It really is peculiar.

Because a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do!

2010-09-06T13:22:00.000-07:00

I will remember that I can do anything I set my mind to I can achieve any goal, fulfill any desire, and reach any star. I will look toward tomorrow with the conviction that I can make it better I will know that a brighter future is within my reach. as long as I have the strength to keep trying, the courage to keep striving, and the confidence to keep believing in myself.

i will remember to live life and enjoy it. I will remember to make my days happy, to fill my life with love, to slow down and appreciate every moment. I will remember what is most important in life.

And I will shape my world around it.

I’m making an example that you can be whatever you want if you try hard enough

you can get whatever you want.

There's always a way

The only things that I regret are those that I didnt do

I know that there's still a bunch of people who believe in me

and that's what makes me keep going

and going
and going
and going
further
and further
and further
and further.

Because a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do!

His Dreams and Mine...

2010-07-20T11:07:00.000-07:00

I just realized that I would rather work hard for my dreams than other wise. Someday when I am in my BIG DREAM in the real, I will be happy for what I did.

It is going to be tough to find the balance between providing things for him making things easy. I want to be able to help him achieve his dreams but I don't want him to take it for granted either. So I was just musing on that for a bit when I had this thought:
The only way I can provide for my sons dream and have them genuinely own them is to live mine and give them a platform. Finances and help may or may not be the best way to go, but if I can inspire him to work and hard plan well (and learn from my mistakes) he will be ok.

Some times I am impatient to get to know my sons dream in the future. I think he will be some great guy to share life with. Let's see if I continue the process of life and be the man God has made to be

Feeling old for the first time...

2010-06-08T12:59:00.000-07:00

I've never felt old, but now I do....

Nirav's first day at school tomorrow, got all of it what is required... Like every other father, I've done thing to the best of my ability... hopeful he will make me proud!

All the best buddy!

The Road Not Taken...

2010-05-17T08:51:00.000-07:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Lee Frost (March 26, 1874 – January 29, 1963)

A Double Cognac, Please :)

2010-05-07T16:14:00.000-07:00

It's funny how life often seems to come back around again to the same place. I noticed, a few days ago, that my life at the moment seems quite a bit like the life I had back in September 2007

It sucks to be stuck in the mire. It sucks to be at that point in life when you realize that most people don't realize their dreams, and you look to be yet another of the faceless masses.

It sucks, but I think the best I can say, for right now, is that I hope my life goes on pleasant terms. I seriously hope and i will sit back on sip on my brandy to see how my life is proceeding.

GEM!

2010-05-03T16:11:00.000-07:00

Life is full of longing. I’ve heard so many people say this in different ways. Leaning to live in the moment, I think, is much more than just eschewing consequences. We want things to happen quickly. We don’t want some things to happen at all. If we have to endure those things, we can’t just wait until they are “over.” I don’t think that it’s ever really over. I think that no matter what is happening in life, we could be wishing that there was some magic pill that could instantly transport us to an easier place, where life will fall into it’s “correct” rhythm and THEN we would be happy. If we could just get such and such accomplished, we would be satisfied. Whether we realize it or not, most of us quickly pass by almost without acknowledging those things when they DO happen. We find some other reason not to be happy. That is the longing I’m talking about.

I hope that I am able to make the very most out of those threshold moments in my life as the years ahead pass by. I want to be happy now, and not wait until some big event comes along. I think that, in not putting off my happiness, I will be able to truly savor and cherish the good things to come. I don’t want to rush through anything just to get to the next thing. I know that there are going to be so many challenges. I want to take each day with courage and live deliberately. I think it’s really the only way to live. I think that living any other way isn’t really living, it's actually putting off living your life until some future time which you will never allow to come. I don’t want that. I want to be alive, now. I want to live my life with purpose and do things for good reasons. I want to be able to look back and say, “I learned this.” or “I’m different now because. . .” and build each day on the choices of yesterday, and do it happily.

My Political Compass....

2010-04-21T16:23:00.000-07:00

Economic Left/Right: -1.25
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 1.69

Todays Trip...Power Playlist for the last hour... WOOF!

2010-04-16T16:52:00.000-07:00

Richard hung himself - Slayer
I hate you - Slayer
Cage around the sun - Monster Magnet
Evil - Monster Magnet
Cyclops Revolution - Monster Magnet
Out Shined - Sound Garden
Black Hole Sun - Sound Garden
Jeremy - Pearl Jam
Brain Of J - Pearl Jam
Gemini - Slayer
She Wolf - Megadeath
Sad But True- Metallica
Hallowed be thy name - Iron Maiden
Fortunes of war - Iron Maiden
Sign of the Cross - Iron Maiden

Would've loved it more with the Tennessee bourbon... Missed you Jack!

Nice...

2010-04-15T15:22:00.001-07:00

What a good phone and a nice headphones could do to you all of a sudden.... Non stop music for 6 hours :) Enjoyed every inch of it and feel so light, doing it after 10 years may be.

*ELATED* :D

Hmmmmp!

2010-04-13T15:06:00.000-07:00

I wish I were as young and fit as I once was.

I wish that I could watch my 6 month old son sleep. He was such a cute baby doll.

I wish that I could play leather ball cricket again. I really liked that game.

I wish that I could go back 10 years in time knowing what I know now.

I wish that my hands weren't going to shit on me and I could play guitar forever.

I wish that I had never started smoking cigarettes.

I wish that Santa Claus was real.

I wish that I had never met some people who gave me just hopes.

I wish a lot, but none of it matters. Life is real and wishes are dreams.

You'll Know...

2010-03-20T14:19:00.000-07:00

I wish you all the bloody bad luck that life could give, I wish you loose all your wealth... I wish you run into Debts, I wish you stand in a place where there is no body... I wish you loose all that you have... I wish you know what is to get punished... I wish you know what it is to miss somebody so much...I wish you sleepless nights... I wish you every BLOODY THING LIFE SHOULD NOT GIVE....

That you'll know that I would not judge you then and will be there for you always irrespective... IRRESPECTIVE of what you've done...you've punished me hard by staying away this long...

But times that I think that you dont have to go through all this to know who Iam... I'll take this pain and I wish you good luck!

TN 41 L 1360

2010-03-15T14:18:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in life...we lose things.
Sometimes they are little things, like, a cheap watch or...a bouncy ball.
Sometimes they are bigger things, like a video camera...or a mobile phone.
Sometimes we get these things back.
Sometimes we don't.

Our hearts...usually are never able to be repaired... when we loose something.

Each time we lose something, our hearts are ripped again and again.

Hearts don't heal so easily.

Sometimes it's worth it to obsess and be depressed.

But most of the time it's best to move on in our lives.

The past can't be changed.

We've been through a lot together.

I hope that someday, maybe you'll come back to me.

But until then...i hope, wherever you are, you're happy.

I Miss You!

PS. It was not just a Palio... It had a free flow exhaust system, Pipercross wire mesh air filters, irdium sparks, Advanced Exhaust sensons, a brand new ECM, Yokohoma rubbers with a 5 spoke alloys... top it all... IT WAS MY LOVE!

I Like The Ships :)

2010-02-25T12:52:00.000-08:00

People on the train aren't worried about quickly getting to their destination.
If you smile at them, they smile back. And there's no hint of the "are you psycho?" look that I often get on planes.
No motion sicknesses like you get on boats or sometimes in cars. No air sickness. Just a soothing rocking motion.
There's no big security fuss to go through.
I could bring my own food and drinks! Lots cheaper than prices in airports.
No seat belts. I could get up at any time and stretch my legs or go to the bathroom
Tunnels! I'm a big fan of tunnels.
What made me write this post?
I don’t know
DUH!

Comfortably Numb!

2010-02-02T06:07:00.000-08:00

I strangled noise & find quiet.
Numbers on my clock repeating

The human condition:short-lived innocence.
I drank. slept easy.breathe easy.

Betweenbrief facades/waves of dreams.
"I wish I were rich with god."(I wonder what made the man in the white suit appear on my dream to tell me Jesus loves me. How empty was my stare then)
I've become Comfortably Numb!

Its Mine... Its Yummy!

2010-02-01T04:27:00.000-08:00

As my friends and I have evolved from teenagers, to young adults, to full fledged adults, I’ve heard the phrase “I wonder where we’ll all be in five years” too many times to count. It’s a legitimate question. I think most people are naturally curious to know what their future will hold. A new job? A new relationship? New friends? Old friends leaving? A big move? The list could go on and on depending on whom the conversation is with.

Recently, I was having one of those conversations, but when that statement came up, it had a different ring to it. It was no longer delivered with a breath of excitement, but almost a sigh of pain. The words were the same as they always were, but the underlying tone expressed what seemed like a fear of “What if nothing changes in the next five years? What if I’m in the same position five years from now that I am today? What if I’m still trying to figure out what to do with my life?”

The phrase that I’ve heard over and over stirred up new emotions in me. I suddenly felt compelled to stop hesitating and start living my life with more purpose and passion. Hearing the sadness in this persons voice motivated me to never be one of those people who talked about the future with fear, but rather with excitement and passion. Five years is a lot of time, and there are endless possibilities for what could happen in the next five years, but instead of focusing on what could happen, I dove into what has happened. I was curious to know what, if anything, has changed for me in the last five years. It was a bittersweet trip down memory lane.

I’ve grown up. I’ve learned. I’ve failed. I’ve succeeded. Most importantly, I’ve discovered that as long as I have my faith in god, I have peace. And I have a hope that amazing things will come my way. I believe that the last five years were just prep for the next five. I know that amazing opportunities are right around the corner.

All in all, the last five years have been amazing. Challenging. Refreshing. Depressing. Inspiring. Lonely. I have grown so much personally, and I would never take back any of it.

I bloody mean it!

Happy New Year!

2010-01-16T10:25:00.000-08:00

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.Love them anyway. If you do good, people may accuseyou of selfish motives. Do good anyway. If you aresuccessful, you may win false friends and true enemies.Succeed anyway. The good you do today may beforgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty andtransparency make you vulnerable. Be honest andtransparent anyway. What you spend years buildingmay be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. Peoplewho really want help may attack you if you help them.Help them anyway. Give the world the best you haveand you may get hurt. Give the world your best anyway.

Looking Forward...

2009-12-18T22:07:00.000-08:00

Here I come Kathmandu... Show me those good times again!

Ahem!

2009-12-09T06:13:00.000-08:00

Guess Who The Hell is Back in Business

ME! Ting!

In Search Of The Key To The Past

2009-11-26T07:18:00.000-08:00

My life since then is empty. I don't know what it is that's missing - a dream? a memory? - actually, it's like the memory of a dream. I know I've forgotten something, and the vaguest hints of it that I get sometimes are enough to stir my soul.

What I've lost was important to me, precious to the point that living without it
seems pointless. It's totally removed from my life, yet the brief almost-tastes of it I get are more real than reality. At night, in my dreams… whatever it is keeps calling to me, with its little tantalizing hints. But I've never quite been able to reach it, or even figure out what it is.

Maybe it makes me a bad person, or maybe it's the logical extension of my desire, but I know with sudden clarity that I would give anything in my power to find out what I've lost. I'd give my life if, before I died, I could get back what's been taken from me.

What was the start of all this?

When did the cogs of fate begun to turn?

Perhaps it is impossible to grasp the answer now, from deep within the flow of time..

But, for a certainly, back then, we loved so many, yet hated so much, we hurt others and were hurt ourselves..

Yet even then, we ran like the wind, whilst our laughter echoed, under cerulean skies.

Disgrace - The Movie!

2009-11-19T21:52:00.000-08:00

Disgrace is based on J.M. Coetzee's prize winning novel. Disgrace is a confronting and brutal tale of our lives... to be specific to the movie, the South African Post Apartheid life. The message is clear. There are no simple solutions!

David Lurie has had several wives but he "wasn't made for marriage." A womanizer, a sensualist, at 52 he's losing his physical attraction; he's looking old. Even his Malay prostitute lets him go. He forces himself upon Melanie Isaacs (Antoinette Engel), a mixed-race student in his romantic poetry class. When they have sex, she turns away as if repelled, but she submits. He's found out and threatened by Melanie's boyfriend, yelled at by her father, boycotted by the students, and at an administrative hearing he's so unrepentent he ends by being forced to leave the college. He goes to the Eastern Cape where his lesbian daughter Lucy has recently been abandoned by her lover. She grows flowers and vegetables she sells in the local market, and she arranges for David to help Bev (Fiona Press), a middle-aged lady whose animal shelter work consists primarily of euthanizing unwanted dogs. In and out of the property he now shares with Lucy is Petrus (Eriq Ebouaney), an almost mythically neutral, philosophical black man who owns land there and is gradually taking over, but who also made Lucy's garden land arable.

Then enters the outside horror. Three young black men appear when Lucy and David are returning from a walk and ask to use her phone. They invade the house, rape Lucy, nearly kill David, and shoot all Lucy's dogs, wrecking the interior of the house and stealing David's car. One pours a bottle of methyl spirits over David and sets fire to him, locking him in the bathroom.

This sequence, I guess ,should be more powerful than the book. After his arrogance, to see Malkovich cowering beside a toilet bowl with his face burned is unforgettable. Eventually he returns to Cape Town and cowers before Melanie's family, asking forgiveness. It's not quite believed, but it's as much of a transformation as such a man is capable of. But it's Lucy's response that's more important: she refuses to report the crime, and refuses to leave. She cooperates with Petrus, who defends the youngest perpetrator. He turns out to be family, the son of his new wife's sister. He says it's over. Reconciliation. In fact, the attack may not have been so random.

David says it'll never be over and will be passed on to those who come long after them. This may be an endgame. But they were born here and they remain. The important thing is that Lucy stays, and so does David, after returning to Cape Town to apologize -- and be serviced by a prostitute.

The film, like the book (Like I'm told) is about humiliation, suffering, enduring. It's about sexuality and about living with other beings, other animals.

Viewers who don't find Disgrace "real" astonish me, though people and events are symbolic as well as specific, always richly both, and always simple and complex. David sleeps with Bev to please her, because she's lonely, and she wants it. Of course it's the sort of good deed that pleases him, but there is humility in it, as is his help, however unenthusiastic, with the animals. Malkovich's arrogance becomes complex because the most vivid images in the film are the ones of him cowering and afraid.

Disgrace is a film for smart people. It's as tightly coiled and thought-provoking as the review, and nearly as good.

Mind Flushing!

2009-11-15T07:31:00.001-08:00

How scary could middle age be? I guess no one is spared that fear, the one of being left behind in a mindless race that is heading nowhere.

“Although I can never seem to understand,
Within these unoccupied moments are the curses of indecisiveness
Which devour upon this good man, my potential and intellect, if there’s any,
Until I'm left ushered to the hands of fate entirely,
Devoid of a spirit or ability anymore –
A lethargy that takes the better part of me,
Leaving me in a state of refractoriness and a loner
So terrible that it completely devours me, within these confines of seclusion”

- Jay

Clinging to that extra minute!

2009-10-25T20:49:00.000-07:00

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

O yeah!

2009-10-13T22:25:00.000-07:00

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my SOUL.

Regrets... no regrets???

2009-09-22T03:19:00.000-07:00

The roads are remarkably bad now. They are more like multi-lane dirt paths that people drive ridiculously fast on until their cars break (which they do often). There are no signs! So I stop every day to ask if I am on the right path. Given how remarkably bad the road is, I guess it should not be a surprise.

There are very few bridges, so I drive through streams and small rivers a lot. The surprising thing is I’ve traveled like this for many a days now!

Something in July!

2009-07-31T03:32:00.000-07:00

www.helicesmag.com

A small step for me.... A giant leap for me!!!!

2009-06-26T23:03:00.000-07:00

Seek it!

2009-06-21T23:31:00.000-07:00

All of us are alone. No other person will completely feel like we do, think like we do, act like we do. Each of us is unique, and our aloneness is the other side of our uniqueness. The question is whether we let our aloneness become loneliness or whether we allow it to lead us into solitude. Loneliness is painful; solitude is peaceful. Loneliness makes us cling to others in desperation; solitude allows us to respect others in their uniqueness and create community.

Letting our aloneness grow into solitude and not into loneliness is a lifelong struggle. It requires conscious choices about whom to be with, what to study, how to pray, and when to ask for counsel. But wise choices will help us to find the solitude where our hearts can grow in love.

Random Introspection!

2009-06-19T03:55:00.000-07:00

There is great romance attached to the work I do; make no mistake about that.
You see I got to thinking about this yesterday night as I suffered from lack of sleep, staring into the Fridge, lying on my couch.

Yep, I've given up a salary with all the security and status that goes with it to do what Iam doing. There are no riches here. There is no reward.

In our country, almost in all temples each day small parcels containing rice, incense, flowers and the like are piled up before statues of gods. Small daily offerings made in the hope that the gods will smile upon them. That prosperity, good health and wealth will be theirs. We all do this in some way, I believe. I, for example, used to offer up my work with my trainees as a gift to the gods. Pray I make some difference. Hope I offer inspiration. Pray for guidance.

Sometimes we think of these acts, these offerings and prayers as sacrifices too.

I know I have touched a few lives, am glad! am happy! not a lot of them could say it "I've touched Lives"

But the truth that why Iam happy is that I beleive that the riches are contained within my journey. The search for the Holy Grail is the prize. Each move, each insight, each mystery I unlock is the reward. The intensity of my experience is the reward. And, when I truly breathe, I remember this. When I take a step back and see how far I've come it takes my breath away and I cry out to myself. This is my reward. There is no sacrifice.

I am fortunate! It is a wonderful gift.

Countdown T-15 days

2009-06-15T05:39:00.000-07:00

Life... ugh. Emotions, thought, feelings, it's all so complicated. It seems especially so for me, and especially lately. But I think I'm getting better at being me and taking a look at and into myself, and coming to conclusions. We'll see where I end up.

I am coming up with a new lifestyle magazine, Helices in less than two weeks. It's so scary and exciting at the same time. Man. I’ve wanted to do this for 6 years and while I am at it I bloody well do it well. Forget all the groundwork, I have to launch it in 15 days...That's so ducking soon, and it's so ducking scary. And I can't wait!!

Right now I’m experiencing some severe bumps in the career road and I'm working on proving things to myself and I think I’m making steps in the right direction, but it's hard to tell. Its hard for me to read my own decisions sometimes. I look forward to seeing how this venture would turn out.

The last few days has been very low key. But it's been good. It's given me time to really work. Sometimes that's so much better than getting drunk in a bar! It's also given me a LOT of time to relax, take it easy, and have some introspection. Which has been nice, and (I think) very helpful.

I have quit smoking and it has been a couple of weeks now. The Nico withdrawal is really bad than I expected migraines, anxiety, anger... Gosh! I hope I never touch that stick again.

My life is a roller coaster. Scary, up and down, exhilarating, exciting, and unpredictable. You just never quite know where you're going or where you'll end up.

mmmmmmmP!

My heart goes for Eelam, My brains with Ceylon

2009-05-18T23:43:00.000-07:00

Fuck LTTE, Fuck Prabhakaran... but somebody has to answer for what ever is happening there. If you have your opinion you can keep it to yourself, cause they are like A##h)(*&S.... everybody has got one, I dont want to see yours on this! where is all the seemans and the vaikos and the dmk's and nedumarans... OMG the election is over!

Money and power always does break human spirits if they want to and the suppressed will only be victims! they chose Ranil over Rajpakse!

Aryans will only keep doing that! Sonia Wins!

Revolution will always end, lives would be lost. spirits would be broken! Tmils are going to live happily in Vanni and Mankulam!

Lavish urbanites will never relate to this! LTTE is a terrorist outfit, so say my urban friends!

There will be a 100 people with thier opinions about things that they hardly know! 13 assasinations is greater than 1,000,000,000 civilian killings!

where is all the seemans and the vaikos and the dmk's and nedumarans... OMG the election is over!

2009-04-09T11:07:00.000-07:00

"Jump, but do take a look".

I heard it mentioned in a movie, I can't remember the title, but have become a mantra in my life. My mind drifted today to some very bad choices and decisions I have made in life. I do not exactly dwell on such thoughts, but today it stuck on my mind. Maybe I am getting old. But it is not the "getting old thought" that struck me most. It is that, I seemed to attract even the most unwanted person in this planet.Oh, that is such a bad thought!Anyway, decisions are like the inviting ocean down a cliff. I, from up above would want that dive of a lifetime! But before doing the plunge, I have all the time to think (twice or more). Then the thought that I made the decision to jump, should be my sole responsibility. Not the ocean, nor the other accessories.To make myself feel good I read some blogs. I listened to Music, I looked at the pictures I have in my laptop; I had a lift instantly.

Yes, I have to get over this melancholic mood and do lots of work!

Earlier today, my ever dearest loving son was so generous of his kisses and hugs. I woke him up, gave him a nice shower, brushed his teeth, took him in the car, took him to my moms place, drove back, slept next to him and he went off to sleep and then I came to work. This is what I call one blessed day!

My only personal post... this is just for me!

2009-03-19T12:13:00.000-07:00

I had a very trouble childhood. I mean, financially. We were poor. Period. Everytine time dad a regular job, we lived in rented house, just us, the family. Something or the other happens and dad loses his job and we had to go live with my grand mother. It was not a great feeling, grandma was a horrible arrogant woman, and we used to confine ourselves in one small room which I should say measures about a 100 sqft or lesser! Moving out from a rented house, we used to dump all our belongings in that room, cook and sleep there.

Again, dad gets a job and we move out. This cycle repeated itself thrice till I was 16. Dad found a decent job after that and we always lived alone! There was no looking back. Dad, the hard worker that he is took about 6 years from then to build a 3000 sqft house, for us. It was a lavish house, I still wonder how dad managed to build it in six years! The house, our prized possession, built with so much hard work, love and care.

Life is a cycle. Dad went in to a financial crunch and we sold out house. We sold it cause we had problems worth 10% of the cost of the house. Dad and my brother tried their best to hold it, save it from selling. They managed say 8%. I was just as useless as I am today, couldn’t be of much help to them at that point in time. Sold it.

If there is one reason that I really hate myself or feel ashamed is that one thing. I was useless to them at that point in time. I feel bad, and I really miss my house. The joy in building it and buying things… from tiles to furniture’s, fixtures and lightings, selecting the paint, buying a dog…

We lived there for 6 years and we moved out. My dad will not read this blog, I know he would have felt miserable selling that house, his life time achievement. All I could say to him is I’m Sorry! I was just useless! And I could never do anything, anymore to make you feel happy! I really am sorry!
My dog died in 2 moths after we moved out of that house! I am here, still as useless

Show Me The Bed!

2009-03-14T17:09:00.000-07:00

I finished work late on friday and came home at 0000 hrs had an early morning flight at o5oo hrs to delhi, which technically woke me up at 0300 hrs, giving 2 hours of sleep... and spent the whole day at a vendors place in Delhi, finished work at 1800 hrs and went out and came back to the hotel at 0100 hrs, and now its 5 in the morning and sitting in the airport waiting for boarding announcement!!!

Its an irritaing eye that I've got here and its an irritating feeling when you dont know if its all worth it!

Movies!

2009-03-09T06:02:00.000-07:00

I got my first DVD player in the year 2003 and from 2004 I've been seeing atleast 5 movies a week and now when I go to the DVD rental store or to buy new DVD's I get this weird feeling that I've seel almost all the good movies that could be available in Chennai!

I'm still am tempted to pick Scarface or Pulp Fiction, Layer Cake or Side Ways to watch... when I stand in front of my collections!

I cant Remember when was the last time I really enjoyed a good movie... The Rain Man which I say yesterday can be counted as a very good movie that I saw in the recent times and the previous good one was " The Lives Of The Others" which was some time in August! Its funny because when I started watching movies I picked all the good movies and watched them in a row and every night was a great movie night!

I right now have this DVD Civil Action, in front of me for tonight's viewing... hope its good!

Fight is about to be over!

2009-03-03T23:56:00.000-08:00

Nowhere will truth be heard,
Nowhere will light be seen,
While ignorance and arrogance reign,
And greed never looks where it’s been.

Nowhere true love be known,
Nowhere sacrifice be made,
While wealth and power corrupts the weak,
And principles of decency fade.

Nowhere will I belong,
Nowhere will I stay and rest,
While liars win rewards for their words,
And continue to feather their nest.

Their hidden will in disguise,
They know to please, getting down on knees,
I’m spellbound searching through this incorrect,
Now as a coward man, I surrender this fight!

Is It time for YOU?

2009-02-25T03:42:00.000-08:00

"The miserable existence of the average slum dweller, which we in India know so well, is novel to the Western viewer..."

Slumdog millionaire... Nan Kadavul... and Arvind Adiga's White Tiger... the stunning correllation is all of them are Poverty porns! The guys who make money out of the poor children by making them beg, to me is as equal as Bala/Boyle hiring these guys and making crores out of them.

People who made these movies are not saints, they did it for business too, and I dont understand the reason why they should be treated like they have shown something great! People who think its social cause are the people who believe that by giving a rupee to the kid begging in the traffic signal is charity and take so much pride doing it! Social cause is doing something to the society and not just exposing it to the society... agian and again and again!

We all know that evil like these exist in every society, we dont need people to expose it to us and make a fortune out of it!

We all knew Dharavi, and the stories behind children begging... its not something new! Reality is is we could only feel bad about it, tell me honestly what can you do? what can we do? sheer nothing... we all have our lives filled with problems and we spend most of our time fighting hardships....

If you deny it, well its time for you do something to the under privledged! get on to the streets now... RIGTH NOW!

Slumdog Millionaire....

2009-02-22T22:34:00.000-08:00

Don’t understand the joy… its not an Indian movie… it’s a David Boyle film. It’s a foreign movie receiving foreign awards!

I saw it… Well Didn’t like it much!

Braveheart, Pianist, Schindlers List, Dr. zhivago, The one flew over Cukoos nest, The Deer hunter, The Last Emperor, American Beauty…

And Slumdog follows suit…. Cant understand Academy Awards…

I can’t help but comparing… The one flew over Cukoo’s nest, The Deer Hunter and Slumdog… LMAO!

Money Is....

2009-02-15T20:54:00.000-08:00

EVERYTHING...Period.

The greatest misery of life is to acquire troubles based on money and to struggle wherein every other part of your life is just as perfect!

A few simple mistakes and a lil bit of laziness for a prolonged period can actually put you through to hell.

My Right Foot!

2009-01-21T23:23:00.000-08:00

Some have dimples in their cheeks, some have twinkles in their eyes; some have a nose so sharp and straight, some have a smile so sweet and bright. Some have very soft silky mane, some have a very smart brain; and some have got some extra height that let them see a lot ahead.

Some are good at sport while some are good at art; some are good the way they are with a golden heart. Some have visions, some have missions to mark them out from the lot. A guiding star, a good luck charm, a guardian angel, a magic spell.....! Some have the music in their words while some have the Midas' touch!

A happy family, a lot of riches, a peaceful home, an easy job, a friendly boss, a damn good spouse, a very bright son, a loyal friend, a helpful maid, a faithful dog, a dashing car, a brand new watch......! something's there for everyone. But, all I have is my ready right foot, so I will go and find them all !!

The Last Week Of December.... R.I.P!

2008-12-30T05:40:00.000-08:00

One of my good friend, Kaushicks dad passed away... One of my best friend Suresh passed away... My best friend Joels, brother passed away.... My brother/Gangai's Grand mother passed away....

All in the last 4 years and all of them in the last week of December!

I pray specially for all of them now! May thier souls rest in peace!

For The Love Of The Game - 3

2008-12-11T21:14:00.000-08:00

I'm Playing this years State Bowling Tourney leading upto the nationals. I sucessfully completed the first few rounds and now I'm in round of 32. I top scored with 198 and I still have a very very long way to go, keepin in mind my best score is a 224 in Singapore.

Hoping I would atleast finish top 5 in the state given the fact I play this game very very rarely compared to the pro's I rub shoulders with who have their own balls, shoes, gloes, sponsors.... whereas I bowl with a ball which is availabe in the arena and rarely/never polished with no glove or anything.

My right thumb is inactive with a blood clot, cause the ball I used yesterday was broken. Hmmp! so much for the love of the game!

We as kids... all wanted to be different!

2008-12-03T05:47:00.000-08:00

"I think I'll be a clown when I get grown," said Dill. "Yes, sir, a clown.... There ain't one thing in this world I can do about folks except laugh, so I'm gonna join the circus and laugh my head off." "You got it backwards, Dill," said Jem. "Clowns are sad, it's folks that laugh at them." "Well, I'm gonna be a new kind of clown. I'm gonna stand in the middle of the ring and laugh at the folks." ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

From The Ashes...

2008-11-17T20:21:00.000-08:00

Well....

I've done it before and I have to do it again and I hope this is the last freaking time!

Hmmp! Need These Now!

2008-09-22T12:22:00.000-07:00

Failure is the foundation of success, and the means by which it is achieved.
– Lao Tzu
Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.
– Confucius
Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.
– Mahatma Gandhi
Many people dream of success. To me success can only achieved through repeated failure and introspection. In fact, success represents the 1% of your work that results from the 99% that is called failure.
– Soichiro Honda
In the West, our fixation on success discourages us from risk taking because it values success over learning, and it abhors failure whether we learn from it or not.
– Parker Palmer
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
– Marlon Brando
Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith.
– Steve Jobs, Founder, Apple Computer
I have not failed 700 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving those 700 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.
– Thomas Edison
I have learned throughout my life as a composer chiefly through my mistakes and pursuits of false assumptions, not my exposure to founts of wisdom and knowledge.
– Igor Stravinski
Once you embrace unpleasant news not as negative but as evidence of a need for change, you aren't defeated by it. You're learning from it.
– Bill Gates

FAITH!!!

2008-09-09T11:24:00.000-07:00

Large fingers pushing me
Youre God and youve got big hands
Colors blend... and challenges you give me

Seek my part... devote myself
My small self... like a book against the many on the shelf
Sometimes I know, sometimes I rise

Sometimes I fall, sometimes I dont
Sometimes I cringe, sometimes I live
Sometimes I walk, sometimes I kneel
Sometimes I speak of nothing at all
Sometimes I reach to myself, dear god

Like Wise...

2008-08-25T21:59:00.000-07:00

Its 3am and I want To Go Home...

2008-07-30T14:04:00.000-07:00

Nirav,

Daddy is so bugged and stressed at work and I don’t know for what reason I am thinking a lot about you the last week when I am at work. Its like you face keeps flashing on my mind in what ever I do. I’ve never had this feeling in a long while. It was your mom who used to taunt me this way.

I have watched you grow, so far, into a very curious, healthy and intelligent boy. You have come so far and for that, I am so proud of you.

You may not understand this today, but someday you may come across this blog and this particular entry I have written to you. Much as I want to explain why I am writing this, so much I really don’t know why I am writing this too.

Dad is not playing/spending time with you and I don’t know if you can even realize it. However I feel guilty when I say bye to you when I leave. I hate to see your face when I say bye.

You are the best thing that has ever happened to us and I will never do anything to hurt you prince. I want to do a lot of things with you da, I want to play the guitar with you, I want to take you on road trips, I want to play sports with you… when I am old as you grow up I wanna say Quits with a nice wine tasting trip in napa valley!

I am really scared Nirav, I don’t know if I would make a good father, give you all that is needed, Teach you right things and raise you to be a MAN! I really don’t know.

Whatevr it is I will devote all my energies to raise you the best way I know how, I do hope I succeed. For both of our sakes.

Love you da…

www.placesupport.com

2008-07-15T04:43:00.000-07:00

This is my new assignment... I am helping to set this support center with a plan to ramp it up to 600 seats in the next 6 months.

Very very challenging and tiring. I am drained and exhausted when I go to sleep every alternate days(coz I sleep every alternate days, these days) My first process went live yesterday and was very impressed with the outcome.

Keeping fingers crossed and expectations high!

What Would You Prefer - Sheer Ecstacy, Part 2!

2008-07-13T19:19:00.000-07:00

If you have to go down to Bangalore and come back the same day and its already 2pm, what would you do? Try your luck at the airport or take the all new Honda Civic vailable at your disposal?

I took the second option... now I want to own one!

The roads are good and call it development, yes it is. But I doubt if it is our growth... There are about a thousands of villages and few of them enroute and I guess they have no clue as to whats happening in the crazy rat race world!!!

They all are still struggling, VISIBLY! and me old, I guess... I cant feel happy about all these in equalities any more... something has to be done and I know for a fact, I am going to complete this blog and may be even forget about it and head up for a meeting!!!

The worst is, after all this I would look for a nice Civic picture to post in this post!

PS: The above reaction could be because of my watching Dr. Zhivago a 100th time the previous night :)

Sheer Ecstacy :)

2008-07-09T06:15:00.000-07:00

I would have seen it a hundred times now~ and I watched it today after a long time and I was awestuck and was in a another world till a small drop of tear running down my cheek distrated me :)

Dinner @ Work!

2008-07-01T13:49:00.001-07:00

I was working from 10 in the morning... and I have con call at 4 the next morning... which would technically make me sit in the office for 18 hours... This whole month has been this way... clocking 14 hour+ everyday.

I am working from a clients place, so they saw my spirits weakening and hence took me out for dinner at my fav place... Bella Ciao.

Nice Place, Nice Food, Nice Break from work!

Thanks guys for a great dinner and a time and a GREAT WINE!

Dasavatharam!

2008-06-19T04:05:00.000-07:00

1 Kamal + 9 fungus infected face kamals.

Unnecessary waste of Oscars money to prove a point. Hope he recovers it. All would say Kamal is great, blah blah, blah, honestly its a typical K S Ravikumar Flick. Masala + Defies logic + Weak Screenplay.

Its kind of getting irritating and boring to listen to Crazy mohan + Kamal's Dialogue.They should have stopped it with kadhala kadhala. 1 Kamal + a decent villain would have made this movie good, I feel. Mediocre Graphics, and trying to show butterfly effect is all non sense.

Why would you want to try acting in 10 roles, rather attempting to give a nice simple movie. Tarantino, Almodovar, Alexander Payne, Martin Sorcese all give simple yet powerful movies. Side ways, Bad Education, Resovoir dogs, all of them are simple, infact in side ways thers's only 4 characters, yet a great movie!

Movies are meant to be simple and nice and should give you a feeling to take home, rather than give you a feeling TAKE ME HOME in the middle of the movie.

One the last note, before I started from work to the movie, all of them said dont miss the first 20 mins. I had no clue what they were talking about, later I realized, yes its important coz it a freebee. I still fell the first 20 mins was a freebee short film for the audience. What a waste of my sons time!!! (his first big screen tamil movie). He rather would have enjoyed riding his cycle round the house!

GROW UP!

People!

2008-05-31T00:21:00.000-07:00

I was stranded in traffic in T nagar, for over an hour and half in front of a temple. Processions or some swamiji has been there and there were 100's of people waiting in the road and disrupting traffic.

WTF is your beleif system. Be it any religion.

Does it say or asks you to let go of your civic sense. Wake up guys, its high time.

Indiana Jones!

2008-05-31T00:13:00.000-07:00

Went to mayajaal yesterday to watch a movie, the only movie available, which was decent enuf to watch was Indiana Jones. Typical, speilberg movie, defies logic, defies everything.

Harrison Ford could hardly walk, It was like he was limping throughout the movie... Old age.

Moral of the movie: If you are a super hero or if you are indian Jones, you, your family and friends would never ever get fucking hurt. Be it a high speed collosion, flight crash, or if your car falls into a water falls, which is as big as 'The Niagra' or if you are beaten black and blue by another able guy, all you got to do is get up and dust your shirt off.

Had fun!

The Lives Of Others...

2008-05-22T23:06:00.000-07:00

My wife and I went to see this movie yesterday and were really impressed. didnt expect a packed auditorium, however 30% of the crowd left before interval and the remaining 70% after the end of the movie, stood up, clapped, and left with immense satisfaction of watching a great movie.

I 've never seen so many people standing up together and clapping for a movie. it was nice!

Das Leben der Anderen (2006) (The Lives of Others) was brilliantly written and directed by Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck. The film is a taut thriller. It's also a dramatization of what happened in East Germany--and could happen here--if we allow the government access to every aspect of our lives. Ulrich Mühe stars as Hauptmann Gerd Wiesler of the Stasi--the dreaded secret police. The Captain is so talented in interrogation that he gives lectures on interrogation techniques to Stasi cadets.

For complex reasons, Wiesler is investigating a prominent couple-- Christa-Maria Sieland, a beautiful and talented actor (Martina Gedeck), and Georg Dreyman (Sebastian Koch) an accomplished author and playwright.

Artists in East Germany were strictly controlled by the state. Some of them played an intricate cat-and-mouse game with the Stasi--going just far enough to attract notice, but not so far as to bring about arrest. The problem with the cat-and-mouse game was that the cats had very sharp teeth, which they didn't hesitate to use. Blacklisting was just one of the state's weapons--a single word from a high official and you never acted again, or your plays or music were never performed. Although both Christa-Maria and Georg have been careful and discrete, they haven't been careful and discrete enough to escape the Stasi's interest.

The movie, although in color, looks as if it were shot in black and white. The mood and the locations are drab and muted. Obviously, the color reflects the political and social situation of the time. The camerwork and editing were outstanding. Every other aspect of the film is equally excellent, particularly the work of the supporting actors.

Not only does this film represent a riveting thriller, but it provides a powerful political message. After you've seen The Lives of Others, you won't keep quiet when someone tells you "I don't care if the government taps my phone; I've got nothing to hide."

This is an extraordinary film--well acted and directed, with a compelling plot and message. Das Leben der Anderen is the finest movie I've seen this year. It's definitely worth seeking out.

In The Second Over...

2008-05-14T07:54:00.000-07:00

I always liked him! Such a level headed and a good free flowing batsman. He is struggling now. Third over against Mumbai Indians... want him to do well...

* Update: He didnt! :(

Remember what morals always taught you...

2008-05-10T01:34:00.001-07:00

There is no shortcut to success!

There has been lots said about Questnet and I've been contemplating as to if I should post about it! But what the heck, let me just write!

For the last decade or so there have been hundreds of guys who have asked me to part of some Multi Level Marketing thing, incl. the much coveted Amway. I have seen People gaining as well losing in these things. Infact one of a close relative is part of Quest net. He claims to have made money, and hence most of the other relatives followed him to join. They’ve not made a penny. They were hoping too, but with this scandal out, I guess they never will. This, this FU#$%^G reason is why I hate MLM.

They guys whom I mentioned to have made money works for a software giant and does this part time. And the others, who followed him, are people who are trying to make ends meet. Irony! But these pyramid models work this way I guess, the classic economic theory – The rich become richer and poor become poorer.

I hate MLS’s because:

- I believe there is no shortcut to success.
- Money isn’t every thing.
- Don’t want to make the already rich richer.
- It breaks relationships, many a times!
- Most of it is CON

To sum it all, I would rather beg to con people, break trust and relationship to make money!

HTC Touch !!!

2008-05-08T05:33:00.000-07:00

First post from my PDA... hope it works!

Thanks Vic!

2008-05-08T02:45:00.000-07:00

While I was in Bangalore, Vic, a good friend took me to hard rock café and to OPUS for dinner and beer.

I had so much fun downing a lotse of beer after a long time. I remember between me and Vic we’ve downed more than 20 bottles of beer in Kathmandu. This was more like a repeat.

The best part was it was karaoke night, it was their yearly competitions. Had 10 odd participants and all of them sang so well. I mean they sang every thing from BB king to Pearl Jam to The Corrs. All of them were just too great. I am supporting this girl Roodika! Vic promised to call and let me know about finals so I could be there with Pinky and have some more fun!

Go Roodika Go!

Money Talks!

2008-05-08T02:34:00.000-07:00

I was in Bangalore last week. I didn’t fly to Bangalore as it makes no sense to me. My home from airport is an hour drive and check in 1 hour and as always the regular flight delays 1 hour and the flying time an hour and the drive to Cantonment where I had to go is another 1.5 hours with Bangalore traffic, which is 5.5 hours. Whereas if take a train, preferably shatabdi, I would reach in 5 hours net!

I didn’t book my tickets as the WL was 178 something. I went early, was waiting for the TTR, as soon as he came I saw a lot of people surrounding him, for places. The AC attendant came and asked me to sit inside and asked me 250 more, I gladly agreed and I sat, remember I had only an open ticket, not valid in shatabdi. After a while say 2 hour later the TTR came took 250 from me and I reached Bangalore.

I felt very very guilty doing it though. Not that I bribed to get things done, but I saw a lot of people who had WL tickets failing to get in. felt so guilty to make this decision.

I WILL NEVER USE MONEY AS A TOOL TO GET AHEAD OF PEOPLE!

Its Been Long!

2008-04-11T01:08:00.000-07:00

The doctors induced labor on her because she was losing ambiotic fluid and they began to worry about her and the baby. They kept her in the hospital the whole day and started administering the labor-inducing drug since morning.

I was scared shitless. I wanted to be there to hold her hand and comfort her through a difficult time. She was hooked up to a fetal monitor and everything looked okay until the doctor came in for about the fourth time to up the dosage of the GET THE BABY OUT drug.

Things got ugly after that. She lost a lot of the liquid and it was time to get Nirav out of the belly. Evidently, I .read it some where… when that happens, a woman experiences incredible pain

That doctor cut my darling’s sweet tummy.

Nirav was fine. She was fine. I was staggering around as if I had been drinking in a bar all day. I was exhausted. I felt like a wrung-out dishrag. She looked better than I felt.

Both families were out in the hallway waiting to see the new youngun and I finally carried Nirav outside. Got-damn! That must have been a traumatic experience! Spend nine months in the warm darkness of mama's belly, and then be thrust into bright light with about 20 strangers pawing at you all at once. No wonder Nirav cried like a (*&^%&^%

He got over it. He is growing up to be a fine boy.

I never will forget that day.

?

2008-01-21T02:45:00.000-08:00

28 years down the road,
In this journey known as life,
Gone through different moments,
Both bitter and sweet…

Yet I still wander aimlessly,
Not knowing the answer,
To the most important question of all times,
Who I really am?

Inside of me, the desires of all mankind,
To be good in everything I do,
Never considering my capabilities,
Nor my responsibilities.

Blood of a single man runs through my body,
But desires of a million dash through my mind,
Such immaturity I find within myself,
Yet I can’t help but to embrace it all

Hell ya, I am Glad!!!

2007-12-21T21:22:00.000-08:00

You Should Play the Guitar

You're very independent - both in spirit and in the way you learn.
You can teach yourself almost anything, even if it makes your fingers bleed.

You're not really the type to sit patiently through a music lesson - or do things by the book.
It's more your style to master the fundamentals and see where they take you.

Highly creative and a bit eclectic, you need a wide range of music to play.
You could emerge as a sensitive songwriter... or a manic rock star.

Your dominant personality characteristic: being rebellious

Your secondary personality characteristic: tenacity

What Musical Instrument Should You Play?

Get Well Soon!!!

2007-12-20T02:06:00.000-08:00

J.D Madan was injured in a horrific crash on Saturday night in Mumbai. What I got to know from a friend was that he was on a zen driven by his friend, couldn't see a curve and the car, plumetted from the edge of a cliff at around 120 kmph, flipped at least 8-10 times and crashed at the bottom of the hill.

Luckily, the driver escaped with minor injuries but J.D broke his neck, spine, fractured his leg and skull and multiple other injuries.He got operated last evening and the doctors are saying that he'll recover but it'll take a long time.

He is back in Chennai today and is to be chartered to the US for further treatment.

JD is an awesome guy, more than a racing champion. Very passionate about what he does and he was the one who fixed my cars Exhaust systems and accesories.

May god be with him and his family through out this troubled times.

One more...

2007-12-17T19:57:00.000-08:00

I'm wasting time and it is one of my least favorite things to do! Argh, but I just don't have motivation to do anything right now. Besides things that aren't productive... and I really need to get some work done... I guess I've just kinda been really sad.(for a while)

I honestly feel like the world is against me. but still I don't give up! I am fighting it with all of my might! I am exhausted, and trying to be its friend, but that is how it feels every single day! Too many examples,

O.O but anyway. I will not give up. I take the challenge with a fake smile and just keep trying to face the world each day...

My Favorite Poetry...

2007-11-15T02:11:00.000-08:00

After Apple Picking

My long two-pointed ladder's sticking through a tree

Toward heaven still,

And there's a barrel that I didn't fill

Beside it, and there may be two or three

Apples I didn't pick upon some bough.

But I am done with apple-picking now.

Essence of winter sleep is on the night,

The scent of apples: I am drowsing off.

I cannot rub the strangeness from my sight

I got from looking through a pane of glass

I skimmed this morning from the drinking trough

And held against the world of hoary grass.

It melted, and I let it fall and break.

But I was well

Upon my way to sleep before it fell,

And I could tell

What form my dreaming was about to take.

Magnified apples appear and disappear,Stem end and blossom end,

And every fleck of russet showing clear.

My instep arch not only keeps the ache,

It keeps the pressure of a ladder-round.

I feel the ladder sway as the boughs bend

And I keep hearing from the cellar bin

The rumbling sound

Of load on load of apples coming in.

For I have had too muchOf apple-picking: I am overtired

Of the great harvest I myself desired.

There were ten thousand thousand fruit to touch,

Cherish in hand, lift down, and not let fall.

For allThat struck the earth,

No matter if not bruised or spiked with stubble,

Went surely to the cider-apple heap

As of no worth.

One can see what will trouble

This sleep of mine, whatever sleep it is.

Were he not gone,

The woodchuck could say whether it's like his

Long sleep, as I describe its coming on,

Or just some human sleep.

~ Robert Lee Frost

Katradhu Thamizh... Pathetic, Funny, Horrible... A Movie for Losers!

2007-10-29T00:51:00.000-07:00

Went to this movie yesterday after watching an interview with the director by Madan on TV.

Read the review on the Hindu and thought that the reviewer, Malathi rangarajan was biased. Ironically, after watching the movie I see that the reviewer as echoed what ever I wanted to say.

The movie is just pathetic… the director in the interview yesterday and in the movie is so confused about what he wants in life. There is no leftist approach nor there is love for the language displayed.

The whole movies accuse rich people and the IT/ITES fraternity. Lil does the director know of the struggles and the hard work put by these guys to make it big in life, than to sit and crib about the society. He complains about guys working in call centers…

Man I’ve been there, if you don’t know whats happening in a call center it’s a shame… working against body clock, hitting targets, taking abuses, all this not for fun, but to sustain… I know a million people do it to take care of their families and give children good education… blah blah blah…

For all the people who knows me know that I am way to better in speaking this language and I’ve mastered it. I dunno if the so called Tamil loving groupies can talk, recite poetry, explain grammar like I do! I am saying this only because, I feel that I have the bloody right to criticize these morons who claim that they love the language and crib about everything in life and end up being losers like the hero of the movie and the director of the movie.

The hero has no clue about anything in life… he studies Tamil not for the love of the language, but he fells he would lead a better life. There ends the movie. One word, rather two words… Fuckin Stupid.

I am confused as to what to type… just like the movie so her goes the review of Malathi Rangarajan.

Katradhu Tamizh
Genre Drama
Director Ram
Cast Jeeva, Anjali, Karunas
Storyline An M.A. degree holder’s frustration makes him a murderer
Bottomline The loopholes are many!

What is the director driving at? That choosing Tamizh as the subject of study takes you nowhere? That even if you go on a murderous spree, killing 22 people, you can go scot-free unless you choose to tell the world about it? Or that studying Tamizh i s a deterrent to being worldly wise? Writer-director Ram’s confusion shows on screen. When the main character is subjected to relentless suffering, it’s suffocating. And the incessant deaths get too bloody for comfort.

MR Film Productions’ Katradhu Tamizh (U/A) with its telling tagline, ‘Tamizh M.A.,’ has some brilliant performances from Jeeva and Karunas. Lack of make up makes debutante Anjali’s portrayal extremely natural. But with no help from the story department, the actors’ exercises are futile.

Prabhakar (Jeeva) is a bright student, who decides to graduate in Tamizh. Not that he’s passionate about the language; he finds solace in the company of his Tamizh teacher and decides to toe his mentor’s line. But Prabhakar is fluent in English too. He even prepares a bio data for his room mate who lands a lucrative job. Why the frustration?

He knows his salary will increase on the completion of a Bachelor’s in Education. Why the eccentricity? The moment he begins to kill without purpose, the man loses your sympathy.

At best, Katradhu Tamizh is morbid, and at worst, it’s irritating. The mother and grandparents die in an accident, so does his favourite teacher. Later, there’s also news of his father’s death.
To add to the gore, Prabhakar turns homicidal and kills at will. His lover’s behaviour is equally perplexing. When in grave danger, she could have sought his help, but strangely she resigns herself to her fate in a procurer’s den.

Prabhakar catches hold of a cameraman (Karunas), gets his confession of the murders recorded on tape and hands it over to a private channel. But once the police want to nab him, he tries to escape! Till that moment, they aren’t even looking for him!

The lack of logic is befuddling. Lighting, tones and angles (S.R. Kadhir) give the necessary amount of greyness to the narration and Raghavan’s art complements the mood.

When you try to be different for the sake of being so, it only seems pseudo. Katradhu Tamizh is just that.

These Shoes Are Too Big For Me...

2007-09-26T05:44:00.000-07:00

And I shamelesly say, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will.”

Fight Club Lessons...

2007-09-11T21:23:00.000-07:00

I get so angry these days, not short temper… but a sudden rage! This happens a lot when I drive, I hate it when people honk, I hate it when they over take from left with no indications, I hate it when there is lack of civic sense, I hate traffic police… I hate roads… I hate them all.

These days its hardly surprising to find oneself having to fight strangers in the streets. And in the last 2 months I would have fought with atleast some 7 people. Right in the middle of the road, parking my car stand still in the middle of the road.

So one really have to learn some tricks to win the fights in any way that you can, otherwise you wil surely be left with some black eye, dislocated wrists, and also concussion. Like always best solution to win a street fight is to avoid one. It will be great if a dispute is resolved without any brawls and yes, better not let your treacherous ego cloud your common sense. In violent confrontations, make sure to be neutral and calm; apologize, even if its not your fault or the opponent is a regular no gooder and yes, do so in a confident manner.

If he persists, clearly tell him to back off. Never let your opponent get near you and don't be a fool and let him hit you first. As he nears, change your stance in a fighting position and just slam your outstretched open hand into his face. This is a great tactic to disorient the opponent. Well if you have to punch, keep your hand, wrist, and two largest in a straight line, and punch with those two knuckles as hard and fast as poible.

And yep, all those scratching, biting, clawing, spitting, hair pulling hair are good too. Remember you are in a street fight and that too with a rowdy aggressor, so don't think about rules, just think about your safety.

Know your limit too. Alone and fighters ganging up on you? Well run! Its not cowardice, its safety actually. A winner always knows when to quit.

When involved in these street fights, unless you are a mean fighter, you will be punched to a pulp. So the best tip to win the fight is to impede your opponents as much as possible, use sand, dirt, mace, or other sprays on the eyes, thereby you can run.

Fighting should be the last resort, and if you can talk your way out of a fight that's one real winner too.

Wow...Times HAVE Changed...

2007-08-10T00:05:00.000-07:00

Some 2 decades before…

My Mom: Hello doc, I guess he has got fever

Doc: Checks temperature, mom and I curious to know what is it, he says 104
Gives me a shot, and scribbles prescription.

We come back home.

Yesterday:

Doc: What happened?

My Wife: He has got fever, It was 104 in the morning, I administered crocin drops and in the afternoon it was 102 and then crocin drops 5 ml, and it has subsidized after that. He is not dull and his motions are normal. I guess it’s a small case of viral infection.

Doc: Ok!!! Yes it is a viral infection and do continue what ever you are doing! I’m not giving any anti biotic continue the same.

My wife: Yeah I know, he need to fight diseases with out anti biotic and it would help him to be more resistant. Thanks doctor.

Doc: Why the heck did you even come to me!!!!

A Dream Of The Unknown...

2007-08-08T04:35:00.000-07:00

Be not afeard; the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices
That, if I then had waked after long sleep,
Will make me sleep again: and then, in dreaming,
The clouds methought would open and show riches
Ready to drop upon me that, when I waked,
I cried to dream again.
--William Shakespeare, The Tempest (Caliban), Act 3, Scene 2

Our New Logo...

2007-08-03T04:37:00.000-07:00

The above logo sees the coming together of three distinct entities, Technology, Training and Creatives.

A symbiosis that works towards getting the maximum possible output with the coming together of these diverse elements. However disparate, it all comes together to form a coherent new entity - One Stop Consulting.

To bring home the thought, in Hindu mythology the pantheon of gods is made up of Shiva, Vishnu and Brahma. Or the triumvirate. They are respectively also known as the creator, preserver, and destroyer. But when they came together as one entity they created a force that was greater than the combined strength of them singly.

To sum up, the sum of the parts is always greater than the whole.

Comments???

Prince Chraming's Charm...

2007-07-29T21:43:00.000-07:00

I was to drive for a Rally yesterday, and I thought I would take my wife and the boy along witth me... Nirav was the youngest participant(no free lunch... he paid his entrant fee). It was relatively a tough rally and the bottom line was "should drive fast to win" though the organizers claim it was just for fun.

The day started well, nice weather the flag off was at woodlands drive in. We drove with Aneesh, a friend of mine in his car, Swift ZXI, with a lot of upgrades on the car, like an all new free flow exhaust system, K&N airfilters, Irdium spark plugs version 5 and blah blah.....

To cut the story short, we had whole loads of fun and some nice driving, the first rally for my wife and she did a great job navigating... it also involved a scavenger hunt and I remeber running a long way in ECR to catch up with my car so as we dont lose any time buying stuff...

Finally, We came 2nd in the over all championships... and yeah Nirav was the attraction...

Did you really drive with the baby... Oh! he is alread in the tracks... and a million cho chweet from the crowd... One helluva Rally and My Prince charming charm worked... So he is the official sleeper in my team from now on when I drive...

What next??? Trek de Himalayas.....

Inner Strength... My foot!

2007-07-13T00:54:00.000-07:00

If you can start the day without caffeine,If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you any time,If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,If you can conquer tension without medical help,If you can relax without liquor,If you can sleep without the aid of drugs...

Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!

I saw My First Silver Hair!!!

2007-07-05T22:00:00.000-07:00

I've been in a really existential mood lately. I am spending a lot of time alone and all I do is examining my life, thinking about how I got where I am today and where I'll go from here. I don't come up with a whole lot of answers, but I did come to realize one thing.

Most of my life, from the age of six, has been run by schedules, time-tables, deadlines, and the relentless ticking of a clock. I always had to be somewhere on time, do something on time or finish my work on time. I had assignments to complete, classes to attend, "deliverables" to deliver and places I had to be. Jesus! No wonder I saw my first gray silver hair today while I was shaving.

I don’t know if I like being bored now. I'm not talking about sitting around a twiddling my thumbs. I mean the freedom a person feels when he or she doesn't HAVE to do much of anything.

This is the first time in a quite a while that I am traveling alone for close to a month with no friends, no work mates or family or anybody that I know of. I live alone in an apartment. I do wht I want to do most of the time.

If I feel like touring, I tour. If I feel like reading, I read. If I don't feel like doing a damn thing, I don't do anything.

I don't fear boredom. In fact, I wrap it around me like a warm, fuzzy blanket, and I find it very comfortable. I like not needing a watch anymore.

I also write meaningless random stuff when I want to, not knowing why I started and where to finish like the one now

Napa Valley... OOPS!!! Nashik Valley!

2007-06-28T20:09:00.000-07:00

I am mumbai for the last week and the couple of weeks to come... and I'm escaping the schedules for a weekend and taking a wine tasting trip to Nashik.... Something I always wanted to do!

I Should be leaving tomorrow morning and one of my work mate here know somebody at the Sula Vineyards... So he is putting me up there... given the fact that I am great fan of Sula Savignon Blanc, I know I should have a great time and should take a lot of pics.

Life otherwise, I am here in Mumbai and am training a bunch of doctors, who work for a life sciences project of this big IT giant... Such Adamant as well nice people... They have studied enough and want no more education I guess!!!

I share the guest house here with a Doctor again, he is a resident research scientist... today is the first day I spoke to him when I offered him a drive to work... Man could you beleive he spoke to me for 45 mins on how Crocin lost its patent and how anybody can make their own Paracetomol these days...

I have no clue what he was talking, I dunno if more Paracetemols are good or bad!!! But thats my life here... I've been in conversation about Obesity, Carciogen, Adernaline, and what not!!!

Any case, I am excited about tomorrow...

Here I come Sula!

Go Air = Dont Go Air

2007-06-24T07:58:00.000-07:00

Never fly Go Air... this is the second time for me... they call you 2 hours before and say the flight is cancelled due to things which are beyond the airlines control....

Fuckin Shit, last time it was fine... I wasnt travelling on biz... this time it is bad... Its a new client and my first assignment wid them...

Jet Saved me with an early morning flight, ofcourse at an un affordable rate... *SIGH*

Since Go Air = Dont Go Air = Lets Never Go Air.

Back, Been A While....

2007-05-12T06:12:00.000-07:00

Back, been a while,

Works keeps me busy off late, not been training much, doing some assignments with humma.com, worlds first legal online music site.

I working with them in setting up thier radio portal, and technical marketing, pretty interesting and off beat.

They have lauchned a new album, composed by devan and sung by rang de basanti fame naresh iyer and ranjit and others...

Was there for the lauch and played lead guitars for them, played after ages and it was good... would upload the videos in the days to come...

Interestingly, after picking up the guitars after a long time, its eating most of my time and am candidly working on a few compositions, may work out may not, but I enjoy the time with my guitar...

Man, Life is intersting and you dunno where it takes you... only thing sure is it takes you to a destination called SURPRISE!

ME!

Thats ME!!!!
Thats The TEAM!

Team Again

YAMAHA 5 String BASS With Pre Amps, Sexy, Layed my hand on it!
One of the Best Bassies in town, Waiting for his new album, Full time software professional hope his debut album is a hit and he takes music full time!!!

*&^%&^%$&^%

2007-04-14T01:13:00.000-07:00

Tired... work, home, money, banks, loans, creditcards, car, clients, SLA's, tax, auditor, doctors...

Need a break... or somebody key me back!

Proud...

2007-03-12T22:40:00.000-07:00

2 Years now... still going...

P.S: the site is being revamped now and would get new look by thursday sans typos...

Brighter Day...

2007-03-08T02:21:00.000-08:00

In life, there are defining moments.

It's what makes us who we are today. I can say I've had a lot of those moments. I guess we all have. What's important is that we use those moments to propel us to become better than we were the day before. To make us greater not worse. To not let fear creep in but instead learn and grow from it. And as we continue to live, we will still have those moments.

I don't need fame... I don't need recognition... All I want is to say to myself when I'm old is that through everything that I've been through in my life, I gave my best. I did what I could and I lived my life. Don't know why but I feel kinda down while writing this entry. Maybe because I haven't lived up to what I know I am capable of?

Maybe... Maybe not...

All I know is that I want to wake up one day, look in the mirror and to actually be proud of what I see. If the past is what defines who we are today, then what we do today is what defines who we are tomorrow.I dream of a brighter day... I yearn for it. I want it... And I will earn it.

"The reason why we fall is so that we can learn to pick ourselves up"

IBM LENOVO Y500...

2007-02-28T15:09:00.000-08:00

My new machine, first post from it... what do I type???

k, would i get the million dollar funding next weeek... would I be a millioanire?

Welcome 2007!

2007-02-21T05:42:00.000-08:00

* A much awaited payment was finally declared "I am never gonna get it"!

* My much trsuted car, stalled all of a sudden and burnt a big hole in my pocket!

* Much awaited Pinky's delivery, turned out complicated last minute... ended up C section!

* My Bro's kid fell sick was hospitalized... God knows what ever happenned to him!

* Dad got frustrated at work and put down his papers!

* Met with a bike accident after many a years... middle of the night!

* Driving my friends new car, the tyre busted, and crashed, another deeper hole!

* A slip between the cup and the lip, this is how work goes! * WHAT THE DUCK!*

* Went Over Limit in one of the cards, for the first time...

All this in just about 51 days!!! Hell ya sure makes life Challenging!!!

OMG!!! The Wait Is Over....

2007-02-06T07:41:00.000-08:00

My religion when I was in college, My philosphers... call it what ever if you dont know me... for all you know me, you also kow how much it means to me!!!

how I miss what I had...

2007-02-02T08:52:00.000-08:00

Done a 170+ on a bike on the road

Slept 15 hours at stretch

No Smoking, No Drinking

Plug the electric guitar with distortion and play loud (though dont know how to play)

wake up to IRON MAIDEN's Wasting Love Everyday

Hate cars... Love the bikes... high speed and enjoy the breeze hitting the face...

50 bucks with gas a day is all that is needed

Not a single formal trouser on the wardrobe

Swearing was a part of speech!

Loads to write... no time like those days... Gotta run for a so called meeting!!!

How I hate growing up!!! Miss it all!!!

I post... hence I post!!!

2007-01-30T09:57:00.000-08:00

There is this person at work who uses Comic Sans MS as his default font in his outlook to type mails.

I simply cannot take a paper or a presentation seriously if it's entirely in Comic Sans MS.

Seriously!!!

I don't care if it's supposed to be "child-friendly" or if you've changed font colours to red, green and blue in the middle to highlight certain terms.Comic Sans MS is not even good for COMICS.

It's certainly not good enough for an official communication!

*duh! Wht kinda post is this???

Rude... me???

2007-01-17T07:15:00.001-08:00

Some one in my training called me rude??? Not the first time I 've heard people calling me that!

Two things I believe at work when i lead teams... Leadership Vs Popularity. I could be nice to people and win them over, used to do that I was very popular with no good!!!

Now trying to be a good leader, working on it, trying to win over people with integrity and in the process I come across these remarks, help me to mould myself to be better.

I am passionate about what I am doing and no harm in expecting or driving people towards it!!!

Lady, if you are reading this... welcome your feedback and sincerely working on it!!! and hell ya as always "We all win some and we loose some too..." aint we?

In Love With This Book...

2007-01-16T04:30:00.000-08:00

Enjoying every inch of it...

We stand in awe, we've created life...

2007-01-09T17:49:00.000-08:00

Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I close my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open

Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything

With arms wide open
Now everything has changed

I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open

If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world

With arms wide open...

Its that time of the year again... January!!!

2007-01-04T00:46:00.000-08:00

Woot! First post of the year! I wanted to do a last post but I guess I was too busy and I missed it. Damn I miss everything!The past few days have just been crazy with work/training.

Wedding, travelling, training, new firm, new car... 2006 is over and the new year has arrived. To me, 2006 has been an amazing year and to sum things up, it was a jolly good year.

It certainly was a good year as far as traveling is concerned. I traveled to places that I have never been. The things that I have seen; the people that I have met; the scenes that I have witnesses just added colours of my year.

Not just for the stolen leisures, The rewards were good too and records were made. Along the way, I made some friends that I can visit when I'm bored and those who can share views with.

The romance department continue to grow stronger. :) I'm still discovering new things that put smile on my face. I'm the luckiest guy in the world!

Well work wise has been pretty fulfilling. I know I have moved yet another level. The biggest reward was the project that I my firm initially started with rs 100 investment, that has brought fruits the whole year. Just the way I wanted it. However, I need more in the coming year. I think I'm ready to face another level of challenges that will bring me more substantial rewards.

Well I never have the habit of making new year resolutions but of course I have some hopes:

New year;

New beginning;

New hopes;

May the Goods stay;

And the Evils stay away...

Hopefully I have learned and able to deal with things better.

I wish for:

~ Health

~ Love

~ and Happiness

Looking forward to this year too... and yeah, Happy New Year to all!

Jay...

2006-12-20T08:20:00.000-08:00

Jay is the one who flirts with power. A megalomaniac, he admires the great men of history/contemporary, assumes leadership role and takes power for the good and the many. Referred to as an extremist, says that everyone will be better off if they were left alone. He is hesitant to act (or even say), sets no standard on himself but, "As long as I am happy." A self proclaimed philosopher. "We exist in the Real, but (because of the Symbolic) live in the Imaginary.

Believes that the world is almost full of opportunist’s who tell you what to do or don't care about you. So, if he meets someone who's kind to him, who he can have a slight interest in: HE thinks about it.

He wants to argue, shout, and be believed/heard. He wants to be combative, a fighter, someone who wants to know the truth, influence how others thought, change thought and thus life, an engaged intellectual.

This above is a creative/imaginative/literary/personal/public assessment. This is not to say that there are no lies in the above, but those that they explored of the subjective/emotional kind. What I claim is not reality as such, but the "truth" of my present condition. (Like previous assessment, this is a work in progress. For a comprehensive list with complete descriptions, check back, well, after a few lifetimes.)

For the love of the game...2

2006-12-14T05:52:00.000-08:00

BTW, I own this community in orkut

http://www.orkut.com/Community.aspx?cmm=23514349

If you love, like or even want to play scrabble do join... we are just 5 now and would love to have more enthusiasts*

Thanks to Aneesh, buddy of mine, for organizing the community's first event "Midnight Scrabble" Of course, we played some good scrabble at midnight!!!

*enthusiast: One who is ardently attached to a cause and one who tends to become ardently absorbed in interest

All for the love of the game!!!

Our Lives Have Changed... We've Come a Long Long Way...

2006-12-09T13:28:00.000-08:00

We've always thought that we look good together, that our personalities complemented one another so beautifully.

We've always said that we'll have a wonderful life walking side by side to a future we'll eagerly discover and share.

Along the way, we never found ourselves taking different paths; we always found our way back to oneanother.

Marry me!!!

I said...

I want you with me at my side for all the days we maybe blessed with.

Nothing would make me happier than the gift ofspending my life with you.

She said yes. :)

Here we are now… living our dream amidst of all petty troubles and love…

A love so true, going to bless us with a sweet lil kid!!!

She has left me and gone alone now, to come back with the gift…

And me sitting here alone in the wee hours, thinking abt her… miss her here in this very place next to me…

Waiting for her to come back, although I know we are never going to be alone here!!!

I miss you princess!

The Worlds Fastest Indian...

2006-11-22T21:42:00.000-08:00

A lot of people make fun of me for the kind of movies I watch!!! Esp my love for the movies such as “Side Ways”, “The Clock Maker”, “The Man Who Loved Women” and most of all “The Mosquito Coast”. Well I am adding one more to the list, “The Worlds Fastest Indian”

Played by Anthony Hopkins, here is a brief over view of the movie, which I shamelsessly took from the BBC site. One thing I learned from GE, which is been with me for 5 years now “COPY SHAMELESLY”

"Proof that obsession can be contagious comes with The World's Fastest Indian, an affectionate portrait of a real-life Kiwi record breaker that took director Roger Donaldson 30 years to bring to the screen. Its subject is Herbert J 'Burt' Munro, a plucky pensioner who repeatedly broke the world land-speed record in the 60s on his modified Indian Scout motorbike. As played by Anthony Hopkins, he emerges as a likeable eccentric whose refusal to see out his days quietly will strike a chord with geriatrics* everywhere.
*Geriatrics = Age old person"

I seriously recommend this movie to anybody who loves slow movies and who loves speed, loves bikes, loves collecting bikes, loves challenges and to an extent loves Anthony Hopkins!

The movie to me talks about passion, being a street racer once my self, riding an under powered bike I know what is it to win races only by passion and aggression and all my friends who’ve been with me would vouch for it…. I’ve never lost a race then… those were the days…

This guy is the same, he races at 67 in the beach with a group or punksters with an under powered bike(with which he goes set the land speed record later...) and loses miserably!!! He still does not give up… his friend a 8 year old kid once tell him “ my dad says the whole town believes that you are not going to make it” his reaction is just a chuckle!!!

The best part of the movie is when he leaves New Zealand to go to Utah… the guys to whom he lost the race in the beach come up to him and give him some money and tell him “ here you go mate… some beer money and make us all proud Burt!” Wow! That I would rate the best part of the movie!

The way he sets the land record the first time or the movie it self is very very dramatical… I mean it would qualify for a any masala movie in Chennai, but keep in mind it’s a real life story… and that’s why its makes the movie unbelievable…

A good watch!

Fly... Fly High!!!

2006-11-21T22:34:00.000-08:00

Every beginning always has an end... every start a finish.I might have to journey longer with some... and less with the others… but I want to make a mark....

Spread MyWings& fly!

I want to
SPREAD
MYWINGS
&FLYAWAY.....

Move on... experience new heights... fly higher than before...explore adventures in a whole new world!

I don't wanna hold back!But departure points always hurt.Yup... when you're leaving on a jetplane...BUT YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE A SPECIAL thought when you look back!

Blues Before Sunrise....

2006-11-15T23:35:00.000-08:00

Today and for the next two weeks or so I need to be up by about 5 in the morning and drive 25 odd Kilometers to do training...

Would enjoy every inch of it... I only play BBking in my car these days and WOW... Blues before sunrise is gonna be awesome!!!

JaY RanTs

Valentino Month!

Nothing for the last 2 months, Random status update!

Status Quo

Hello... Is there anybody in there?

Because a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do!

His Dreams and Mine...

Feeling old for the first time...

The Road Not Taken...

A Double Cognac, Please :)

GEM!

My Political Compass....

Economic Left/Right: -1.25Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 1.69

Todays Trip...Power Playlist for the last hour... WOOF!

Nice...

Hmmmmp!

You'll Know...

TN 41 L 1360

I Like The Ships :)

Comfortably Numb!

Its Mine... Its Yummy!

Happy New Year!

Looking Forward...

Ahem!

In Search Of The Key To The Past

My life since then is empty. I don't know what it is that's missing - a dream? a memory? - actually, it's like the memory of a dream. I know I've forgotten something, and the vaguest hints of it that I get sometimes are enough to stir my soul.

Disgrace - The Movie!

Mind Flushing!

Clinging to that extra minute!

O yeah!

Regrets... no regrets???

Something in July!

A small step for me.... A giant leap for me!!!!

Seek it!

Random Introspection!

Countdown T-15 days

My heart goes for Eelam, My brains with Ceylon

My only personal post... this is just for me!

Show Me The Bed!

Movies!

Fight is about to be over!

Is It time for YOU?

Slumdog Millionaire....

Money Is....

My Right Foot!

The Last Week Of December.... R.I.P!

For The Love Of The Game - 3

We as kids... all wanted to be different!

From The Ashes...

Hmmp! Need These Now!

FAITH!!!

Like Wise...

Its 3am and I want To Go Home...

www.placesupport.com

What Would You Prefer - Sheer Ecstacy, Part 2!

Sheer Ecstacy :)

Dinner @ Work!

Dasavatharam!

People!

Indiana Jones!

The Lives Of Others...

In The Second Over...

Remember what morals always taught you...

HTC Touch !!!

Thanks Vic!

Money Talks!

Its Been Long!

?

Hell ya, I am Glad!!!

Get Well Soon!!!

One more...

My Favorite Poetry...

Katradhu Thamizh... Pathetic, Funny, Horrible... A Movie for Losers!

These Shoes Are Too Big For Me...

Fight Club Lessons...

Wow...Times HAVE Changed...

A Dream Of The Unknown...

Our New Logo...

Prince Chraming's Charm...

Inner Strength... My foot!

Economic Left/Right: -1.25
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 1.69