Caught Thinking...

Well, I don't know what’s in store for me in this consulting business.

There was some issues in the network at work, restricting access to a few training material, and was unable to train briefly. The batch was really happy about it; they were having a half hour break from schedule. I took time off and browsed through online-literature.com.

I came across this poem

"There will be time To wonder,

Do I dare? and, Do I dare?

Time to turn back and descend the stair,

With a bald spot in the middle of my hair . . .

Do I dare?

~T.S. Eliot

About T.S Eliot...

T.S. Eliot, obviosuly an English poet was famous for his poem "The Waste Land"

Anyone who studied history might have heard a little about him before. For those who hated history, his poem "The Waste Land" was really famous and it embodied the sentiment of the early 1900s when Europe lost all their spirit after the world war 1.

Europe was so devastated by the war, that he viewed the future as a "Waste Land."

I don’t know, I can’t just deny reading about wars, and poems, songs and works related to them. The after math, the pain, A lot of my friends might not agree, but that’s how I got in to listening Iron Maiden.

As always I think I’m digressing from the topic???

Anyways just some background information about the poet and my likings… Like I mentioned in the beginning of this post, the point is I have dared to venture… coz I didn’t want to regret with a baldhead, I should have ventured it.

And I hope its all for good,(It better be...)

Another interesting thing happened in my class, more of an argument. There was a student who said, "Academics defines what you are!!!" when I asked her "Do you believe so?” because I’m firmly against it, as you all know…

Well... she said, “Yes sir, that’s what has given you and me this prestigious job!”

I just smiled back...

What else could I say… when she believes her life is defined because she has joined Sutherland!!!

Great going girl… You have justified and made you Masters Degree in Computer Application Proud!

She didn’t talk to me after that, she thought I was arrogant, what can I say, she just misunderstood me…

And on a very arrogant note…

"To Be Great Is To Be Misunderstood… How So True…"

Americanism!

One thing that's very noticeable working with interacting with Americans is that they are a much more a polite lot. From saying 'Thanks' to ‘Excuse me's’, it is a welcome change for me.

Here in India, not many people say Thank You and it is very rare to see someone saying excuse me. I say this purely from my own experiences but if you were to have studied in a Christian run school, you were more likely to say your Thank yous as all the Christian schools I went to had a very strong Anglican influence.

The countless hours of agony children had to endure in choir sessions, checking their shoes everyday to see they were well polished and knotting a tie everyday are experiences only in the Christian schools here. And we had these boring as hell moral science/catechism classes, where among other things we were taught to say please, thanks etc.

I do not ever recall having to say please if I wanted something across the table from dinner. I mean, the only people I used to say thanks and please to were strangers, not friends and family. And I can say with the utmost confidence that I was not an exception.When friends said Thanks to each other, we were always rebuffed with a "why thanks between friends" line.

It does take a bit to get used to things here especially when eating with christian families. Mine must be one of the very few Christian families that did not say grace before eating. There's been many a moment when I would have put something in my mouth only for someone to say lets pray. God knows what the hosts of other christian families or friends thought of me then.

And yes the horror of trying to eat meat in an American way is the best part. Eating meat involved, waiting to see how the others used their cutlery and imitating them. Being the clumsiest person around did not help either, what with all the dropped spoons and clinking plates. Think Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman trying to do the best she could at the table.

Now this I cannot say is representative of Indians in general as I know plenty Indians real comfortable with their forks, spoons and what not. Keeping in mind the place I live tries its best to be Americans, including weekend bashes and harcore partying to rolling their ‘R’s.

Welcome change! I would call it if people really become polite and friendly.

I Dunno... I am So Blessed!!!

This is what my Fiance wrote about me in my another site's guest book!!! (sorry for making it public honey)

"Let me tell the others who Jay is...Well, he is first and foremost the love of my life! He is a guy who sticks to his principles and values more than anything else. A very practical and simple person. He plays the guitar amazingly well, and its not what he plays, it is the way he plays it...u can see how much music stirs him, literally. He is a go-getter cannot take a NO for an answer and a winner in all aspects. I guess this is enuff for today. Whatever he is or was I still love with all my heart!!! We fite and argue but end of the day we know that we are just fighting a little more attention and love which is totally harmless....don't u agree with me Jay!"

It makes me feel a lil sad as to when I think, if I really reciprocate the love!!!

Whatever it is... I realize that I am blessed with her in my life... As said in the side bar, I haven't found out the purpose for my existence, but I know she has defined a new meaning for my life when she came in...

Thanks a ton sweetie!!!

Rain drops and dance... Strange kind of romance

Woke up to one of my favorite weathers today, it just rained and quit minutes before I could wake up… I came out and the ground is all wet… Oh I love such a day…

I’m not much of the June afternoon kinds, more of the November rain kinds.

I looked up the sky and I can’t deny the lyrics of “Clouds roll by” – Pearl Jam!!!

I had a great ride in my bike on my way to work…

Rainy days brings a lot of memories to me…

When it used to rain, when I was a kid at school, I would still go to school, hoping that they would declare a holiday…and if it so happens… nothing like it… I would walk around the town in rain before I get back home. A lot of these memories still stay afresh…

When I first proposed my fiancé, she refused it… and she said she needed time to think about it…and it was one of those days, it was raining cats and dogs I offered to take her out… We roamed the whole town… enjoying the rain and the flooded streets…everybody were complaining, but we had so much fun…

The domestic trains were cancelled, and they were just a few of them plying, we waited in one of those deserted stations and took those trains, and we took crowded buses… and took shelter in small tea shops when it rained too bad to even walk and sipped on hot tea’s…

Trust me we did all this without Raincoats!!!

She was all mine those 2 days and I think I spoke my heart out with her during those 2 days… and I’m sure those days played a major role in her decision to accept my proposal.

I knew all along when I fell in love with her, that she would be a tough nut to break, but definitely after end of those 2 days, I know I cracked the nut a lil bit!!!

I don’t know but when I type this I have this strange feeling of sadness, we don’t spend time the way we used to do some 3 years before!!! Both of us are busy in our own professions, no messages, no long phone calls, no roaming around the way used to, no movies...

Measuring with all these she always complains that we have gone down on the love…we had a lot of time to do all these and we had this strange feeling of insecurity all the way and in the course or in the hunt for a secured future we lost all those lil pleasures, and those happy moments of togetherness.

Now I am really confident about a secured future!!! It took me 3 long years to be here, but when I look back, in the course of the time and in the hunt to be here, I don’t know if it was worth a compromise! Only time would say! May be my married life would say!

Again “Measuring with all these she always complains that we have gone down on the love” all I have to say is “ Honey, fortunately, love is not measured by all these things…”

And yeah, especially not ours!