A small step for me.... A giant leap for me!!!!

Seek it!

All of us are alone. No other person will completely feel like we do, think like we do, act like we do. Each of us is unique, and our aloneness is the other side of our uniqueness. The question is whether we let our aloneness become loneliness or whether we allow it to lead us into solitude. Loneliness is painful; solitude is peaceful. Loneliness makes us cling to others in desperation; solitude allows us to respect others in their uniqueness and create community.

Letting our aloneness grow into solitude and not into loneliness is a lifelong struggle. It requires conscious choices about whom to be with, what to study, how to pray, and when to ask for counsel. But wise choices will help us to find the solitude where our hearts can grow in love.

Random Introspection!

There is great romance attached to the work I do; make no mistake about that.
You see I got to thinking about this yesterday night as I suffered from lack of sleep, staring into the Fridge, lying on my couch.

Yep, I've given up a salary with all the security and status that goes with it to do what Iam doing. There are no riches here. There is no reward.

In our country, almost in all temples each day small parcels containing rice, incense, flowers and the like are piled up before statues of gods. Small daily offerings made in the hope that the gods will smile upon them. That prosperity, good health and wealth will be theirs. We all do this in some way, I believe. I, for example, used to offer up my work with my trainees as a gift to the gods. Pray I make some difference. Hope I offer inspiration. Pray for guidance.

Sometimes we think of these acts, these offerings and prayers as sacrifices too.

I know I have touched a few lives, am glad! am happy! not a lot of them could say it "I've touched Lives"

But the truth that why Iam happy is that I beleive that the riches are contained within my journey. The search for the Holy Grail is the prize. Each move, each insight, each mystery I unlock is the reward. The intensity of my experience is the reward. And, when I truly breathe, I remember this. When I take a step back and see how far I've come it takes my breath away and I cry out to myself. This is my reward. There is no sacrifice.

I am fortunate! It is a wonderful gift.

Countdown T-15 days

Life... ugh. Emotions, thought, feelings, it's all so complicated. It seems especially so for me, and especially lately. But I think I'm getting better at being me and taking a look at and into myself, and coming to conclusions. We'll see where I end up.

I am coming up with a new lifestyle magazine, Helices in less than two weeks. It's so scary and exciting at the same time. Man. I’ve wanted to do this for 6 years and while I am at it I bloody well do it well. Forget all the groundwork, I have to launch it in 15 days...That's so ducking soon, and it's so ducking scary. And I can't wait!!

Right now I’m experiencing some severe bumps in the career road and I'm working on proving things to myself and I think I’m making steps in the right direction, but it's hard to tell. Its hard for me to read my own decisions sometimes. I look forward to seeing how this venture would turn out.

The last few days has been very low key. But it's been good. It's given me time to really work. Sometimes that's so much better than getting drunk in a bar! It's also given me a LOT of time to relax, take it easy, and have some introspection. Which has been nice, and (I think) very helpful.

I have quit smoking and it has been a couple of weeks now. The Nico withdrawal is really bad than I expected migraines, anxiety, anger... Gosh! I hope I never touch that stick again.

My life is a roller coaster. Scary, up and down, exhilarating, exciting, and unpredictable. You just never quite know where you're going or where you'll end up.

mmmmmmmP!