Status Quo

When Chennai gets rain it changes everything. Things are wonderfully wet!

I've been feeling pretty happy these days. It is getting easier and easier to live the lively life I have set up for myself. I’d like write poetry when I'm tired. I love regrets, means that I am happy!

I am still busy, still learning, still trying to be better every day. Mostly failing at that last bit. I am getting comfortable with my failings, you know.

I am also continually making new friends. This is exhausting.

So that is where I am these days. Fine. Generally feeling better. Struggling a little with whatever it is that I am struggling with. Anyway, I am happy and well.

I am cold. Isn't that wonderful?

Hello... Is there anybody in there?

Sometimes when I sit down with myself, to write or try to read, there is a feeling that when all the business, in the sense of busy-ness, is taken away, when completely alone, there is really nothing there. There is no voice to talk to amongst myself. There is nothing within to make me smile or push me forward. Strange, considering that looking on I'm sure it looks that I'm an entirely sensible, well-travelled, well-educated(ish) kind of person. It's hard to really understand that however you're feel at this moment isn't how you've always felt, and it isn't how you will always feel; that even in ten minutes time someone may come into the room and you'll have completely changed course. Not in an insincere way, not that you're trying to seem like a cheery amenable person. Just that you only exist when someone is there. Even now it doesn't seem reasonable to have had all the thoughts that have led to these words without any conscious conversation, just with them spilling out from some void. It really is peculiar.

Because a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do!

I will remember that I can do anything I set my mind to I can achieve any goal, fulfill any desire, and reach any star. I will look toward tomorrow with the conviction that I can make it better I will know that a brighter future is within my reach. as long as I have the strength to keep trying, the courage to keep striving, and the confidence to keep believing in myself.

i will remember to live life and enjoy it. I will remember to make my days happy, to fill my life with love, to slow down and appreciate every moment. I will remember what is most important in life.

And I will shape my world around it.

I’m making an example that you can be whatever you want if you try hard enough

you can get whatever you want.

There's always a way

The only things that I regret are those that I didnt do

I know that there's still a bunch of people who believe in me

and that's what makes me keep going

and going
and going
and going
further
and further
and further
and further.

Because a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do!

His Dreams and Mine...

I just realized that I would rather work hard for my dreams than other wise. Someday when I am in my BIG DREAM in the real, I will be happy for what I did.

It is going to be tough to find the balance between providing things for him making things easy. I want to be able to help him achieve his dreams but I don't want him to take it for granted either. So I was just musing on that for a bit when I had this thought:
The only way I can provide for my sons dream and have them genuinely own them is to live mine and give them a platform. Finances and help may or may not be the best way to go, but if I can inspire him to work and hard plan well (and learn from my mistakes) he will be ok.

Some times I am impatient to get to know my sons dream in the future. I think he will be some great guy to share life with. Let's see if I continue the process of life and be the man God has made to be

Feeling old for the first time...

I've never felt old, but now I do....

Nirav's first day at school tomorrow, got all of it what is required... Like every other father, I've done thing to the best of my ability... hopeful he will make me proud!

All the best buddy!

The Road Not Taken...

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Lee Frost (March 26, 1874 – January 29, 1963)

A Double Cognac, Please :)

It's funny how life often seems to come back around again to the same place. I noticed, a few days ago, that my life at the moment seems quite a bit like the life I had back in September 2007

It sucks to be stuck in the mire. It sucks to be at that point in life when you realize that most people don't realize their dreams, and you look to be yet another of the faceless masses.

It sucks, but I think the best I can say, for right now, is that I hope my life goes on pleasant terms. I seriously hope and i will sit back on sip on my brandy to see how my life is proceeding.

GEM!

Life is full of longing. I’ve heard so many people say this in different ways. Leaning to live in the moment, I think, is much more than just eschewing consequences. We want things to happen quickly. We don’t want some things to happen at all. If we have to endure those things, we can’t just wait until they are “over.” I don’t think that it’s ever really over. I think that no matter what is happening in life, we could be wishing that there was some magic pill that could instantly transport us to an easier place, where life will fall into it’s “correct” rhythm and THEN we would be happy. If we could just get such and such accomplished, we would be satisfied. Whether we realize it or not, most of us quickly pass by almost without acknowledging those things when they DO happen. We find some other reason not to be happy. That is the longing I’m talking about.

I hope that I am able to make the very most out of those threshold moments in my life as the years ahead pass by. I want to be happy now, and not wait until some big event comes along. I think that, in not putting off my happiness, I will be able to truly savor and cherish the good things to come. I don’t want to rush through anything just to get to the next thing. I know that there are going to be so many challenges. I want to take each day with courage and live deliberately. I think it’s really the only way to live. I think that living any other way isn’t really living, it's actually putting off living your life until some future time which you will never allow to come. I don’t want that. I want to be alive, now. I want to live my life with purpose and do things for good reasons. I want to be able to look back and say, “I learned this.” or “I’m different now because. . .” and build each day on the choices of yesterday, and do it happily.

My Political Compass....

Economic Left/Right: -1.25
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 1.69

Todays Trip...Power Playlist for the last hour... WOOF!

Richard hung himself - Slayer
I hate you - Slayer
Cage around the sun - Monster Magnet
Evil - Monster Magnet
Cyclops Revolution - Monster Magnet
Out Shined - Sound Garden
Black Hole Sun - Sound Garden
Jeremy - Pearl Jam
Brain Of J - Pearl Jam
Gemini - Slayer
She Wolf - Megadeath
Sad But True- Metallica
Hallowed be thy name - Iron Maiden
Fortunes of war - Iron Maiden
Sign of the Cross - Iron Maiden

Would've loved it more with the Tennessee bourbon... Missed you Jack!

Nice...

What a good phone and a nice headphones could do to you all of a sudden.... Non stop music for 6 hours :) Enjoyed every inch of it and feel so light, doing it after 10 years may be.

*ELATED* :D

Hmmmmp!

I wish I were as young and fit as I once was.

I wish that I could watch my 6 month old son sleep. He was such a cute baby doll.

I wish that I could play leather ball cricket again. I really liked that game.

I wish that I could go back 10 years in time knowing what I know now.

I wish that my hands weren't going to shit on me and I could play guitar forever.

I wish that I had never started smoking cigarettes.

I wish that Santa Claus was real.

I wish that I had never met some people who gave me just hopes.

I wish a lot, but none of it matters. Life is real and wishes are dreams.

You'll Know...

I wish you all the bloody bad luck that life could give, I wish you loose all your wealth... I wish you run into Debts, I wish you stand in a place where there is no body... I wish you loose all that you have... I wish you know what is to get punished... I wish you know what it is to miss somebody so much...I wish you sleepless nights... I wish you every BLOODY THING LIFE SHOULD NOT GIVE....

That you'll know that I would not judge you then and will be there for you always irrespective... IRRESPECTIVE of what you've done...you've punished me hard by staying away this long...

But times that I think that you dont have to go through all this to know who Iam... I'll take this pain and I wish you good luck!

TN 41 L 1360

Sometimes in life...we lose things.
Sometimes they are little things, like, a cheap watch or...a bouncy ball.
Sometimes they are bigger things, like a video camera...or a mobile phone.
Sometimes we get these things back.
Sometimes we don't.

Our hearts...usually are never able to be repaired... when we loose something.

Each time we lose something, our hearts are ripped again and again.

Hearts don't heal so easily.

Sometimes it's worth it to obsess and be depressed.

But most of the time it's best to move on in our lives.

The past can't be changed.



We've been through a lot together.

I hope that someday, maybe you'll come back to me.

But until then...i hope, wherever you are, you're happy.


I Miss You!

PS. It was not just a Palio... It had a free flow exhaust system, Pipercross wire mesh air filters, irdium sparks, Advanced Exhaust sensons, a brand new ECM, Yokohoma rubbers with a 5 spoke alloys... top it all... IT WAS MY LOVE!

I Like The Ships :)

1. People on the train aren't worried about quickly getting to their destination.
2. If you smile at them, they smile back. And there's no hint of the "are you psycho?" look that I often get on planes.
3. No motion sicknesses like you get on boats or sometimes in cars. No air sickness. Just a soothing rocking motion.
4. There's no big security fuss to go through.
5. I could bring my own food and drinks! Lots cheaper than prices in airports.
6. No seat belts. I could get up at any time and stretch my legs or go to the bathroom
7. Tunnels! I'm a big fan of tunnels.
8. What made me write this post?
9. I don’t know
10. DUH!

Comfortably Numb!

I strangled noise & find quiet.
Numbers on my clock repeating

The human condition:short-lived innocence.
I drank. slept easy.breathe easy.

Betweenbrief facades/waves of dreams.
"I wish I were rich with god."(I wonder what made the man in the white suit appear on my dream to tell me Jesus loves me. How empty was my stare then)
I've become Comfortably Numb!

Its Mine... Its Yummy!

As my friends and I have evolved from teenagers, to young adults, to full fledged adults, I’ve heard the phrase “I wonder where we’ll all be in five years” too many times to count. It’s a legitimate question. I think most people are naturally curious to know what their future will hold. A new job? A new relationship? New friends? Old friends leaving? A big move? The list could go on and on depending on whom the conversation is with.

Recently, I was having one of those conversations, but when that statement came up, it had a different ring to it. It was no longer delivered with a breath of excitement, but almost a sigh of pain. The words were the same as they always were, but the underlying tone expressed what seemed like a fear of “What if nothing changes in the next five years? What if I’m in the same position five years from now that I am today? What if I’m still trying to figure out what to do with my life?”

The phrase that I’ve heard over and over stirred up new emotions in me. I suddenly felt compelled to stop hesitating and start living my life with more purpose and passion. Hearing the sadness in this persons voice motivated me to never be one of those people who talked about the future with fear, but rather with excitement and passion. Five years is a lot of time, and there are endless possibilities for what could happen in the next five years, but instead of focusing on what could happen, I dove into what has happened. I was curious to know what, if anything, has changed for me in the last five years. It was a bittersweet trip down memory lane.

I’ve grown up. I’ve learned. I’ve failed. I’ve succeeded. Most importantly, I’ve discovered that as long as I have my faith in god, I have peace. And I have a hope that amazing things will come my way. I believe that the last five years were just prep for the next five. I know that amazing opportunities are right around the corner.

All in all, the last five years have been amazing. Challenging. Refreshing. Depressing. Inspiring. Lonely. I have grown so much personally, and I would never take back any of it.

I bloody mean it!

Happy New Year!

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.Love them anyway. If you do good, people may accuseyou of selfish motives. Do good anyway. If you aresuccessful, you may win false friends and true enemies.Succeed anyway. The good you do today may beforgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty andtransparency make you vulnerable. Be honest andtransparent anyway. What you spend years buildingmay be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. Peoplewho really want help may attack you if you help them.Help them anyway. Give the world the best you haveand you may get hurt. Give the world your best anyway.