Downsizing...WTF???

Last week was one of the hardest weeks for me, I quite don’t understand the turns and dead end life throws sometimes. It was one of those turns for me and a dead end for most of them in my team. Downsizing my team is what it is all about. I was working with this team from day one it was formed, and I have personally hired some 4 of them in this team, not long ago, a 2 months before and now they want to downsize, I’m okay with this, however there is something I cant understand. Why do you have to hire so many people and fire so many in 2 months??? Are you playing Monopoly??? Buy, sell and rent out places, and your luck is all about what you throw in the dice!!!

It was not a great feeling to sit through those meetings where people count their fortunes and praying hard.

Talking about me, I’m fine, there is no problem for me, except for I have this offer right in front of me, that I could move to a different process to exhibit my skills; they call it a better prospect however I’m really scared to take this turn. It’s more like a blind turn. It’s a little different for me. I have jumped jobs like no mans business, and now I don’t really want to try or do anything different. I have to give an interview now in 2 hrs to know what the outcome is. I’ am brave enough to accept that I have stagnated, big-time!!! May be because my learning is good for the last 4 months, given the fact I have been through a 120 hour training to enhance my skills and involved myself in a lot of training and hiring, exposing me to so many things.

I’m growing old I guess, may be starting to grow old. I don’t dream like the way I used to do because may be I’m matured. I feel those dreams are so unreasonable. I find it absurd to even think to set up a registered company (Maple thoughts) at 22 years and dreaming big about it. Now I feel I can’t even think of setting those ventures at 25 yrs now. Reading jack Welch and Steve jobs does not make you one is something I have understood. And one other thing is that these CEO’s made it big because they never jumped jobs… that is precisely what I want to do, that’s what even Pradeep, My ex manager at DELL, told me when I quit DELL. To an extent he was an awesome guy. I liked the way he used to say “I work with people, not technicians; I work this way because I need to answer my manager, the carpenter from Nazareth”

I don’t want to jump jobs anymore, whatever it is I have molded to myself to stand up and face it, than to chicken out. Started to believe it’s the same everywhere, you can’t keep chickening out every six months!!!

It’s kind of a different feeling right now as I feel I have hit an all time professional low in the last 1 year. So I got to wait for another 5 hours to figure out if I should take that blind turn. Anyways I feel really bad for my team, something which I was part of and was once everything!!!

Again, I’m not against all these corporate fundas and stuff, just that I would love to know if there is a defined way people go about it. Then again, even if there is one what’s the integrity level of the person who does it, or executes it? May be if the integrity level is high, then there is no need to the defined value that I was talking about.

I have molded myself to fight, fight against all odds and non ethical and less integrated people!!! I wish all these lessons I learn and pains I go through would make me an amazing professional some years down the road…

Again, Downsizing??? WTF!!!