Movies---Just Like A Real Slice Of Life

Things I Learned From Movies

I've been studying and here are the facts:

* All cars blow up in a big fireball when they wreck.

* All women are beautiful and horny for an action hero.

* You should ALWAYS hold a pistol sideways in your hand.

* If you are diving or doing summersaults, you can't be shot.

* If you know kung-fu, you can fly.

* Good guys/heroes always get wounded in the left shoulder or the leg.

* Whores have hearts of gold.

* All action heroes can drive with the skill of a NASCAR/F1 racer.

* Bad guys can't shoot for shit. Even with automatic weapons.

* ALL bombs on timers tick down to about two seconds before the action hero figures
out which wire to cut to disarm it.

* Magic guns exist. A six-shot revolver can fire nine times without reloading

* Women kidnapped by bad guys, near get killed and have to crawl through a sewer to survive emerge with manicured nails with no dirt under them

Movies---just like a real slice of life