I saw My First Silver Hair!!!

I've been in a really existential mood lately. I am spending a lot of time alone and all I do is examining my life, thinking about how I got where I am today and where I'll go from here. I don't come up with a whole lot of answers, but I did come to realize one thing.

Most of my life, from the age of six, has been run by schedules, time-tables, deadlines, and the relentless ticking of a clock. I always had to be somewhere on time, do something on time or finish my work on time. I had assignments to complete, classes to attend, "deliverables" to deliver and places I had to be. Jesus! No wonder I saw my first gray silver hair today while I was shaving.

I don’t know if I like being bored now. I'm not talking about sitting around a twiddling my thumbs. I mean the freedom a person feels when he or she doesn't HAVE to do much of anything.

This is the first time in a quite a while that I am traveling alone for close to a month with no friends, no work mates or family or anybody that I know of. I live alone in an apartment. I do wht I want to do most of the time.

If I feel like touring, I tour. If I feel like reading, I read. If I don't feel like doing a damn thing, I don't do anything.

I don't fear boredom. In fact, I wrap it around me like a warm, fuzzy blanket, and I find it very comfortable. I like not needing a watch anymore.

I also write meaningless random stuff when I want to, not knowing why I started and where to finish like the one now