I had a very trouble childhood. I mean, financially. We were poor. Period. Everytine time dad a regular job, we lived in rented house, just us, the family. Something or the other happens and dad loses his job and we had to go live with my grand mother. It was not a great feeling, grandma was a horrible arrogant woman, and we used to confine ourselves in one small room which I should say measures about a 100 sqft or lesser! Moving out from a rented house, we used to dump all our belongings in that room, cook and sleep there.
Again, dad gets a job and we move out. This cycle repeated itself thrice till I was 16. Dad found a decent job after that and we always lived alone! There was no looking back. Dad, the hard worker that he is took about 6 years from then to build a 3000 sqft house, for us. It was a lavish house, I still wonder how dad managed to build it in six years! The house, our prized possession, built with so much hard work, love and care.
Life is a cycle. Dad went in to a financial crunch and we sold out house. We sold it cause we had problems worth 10% of the cost of the house. Dad and my brother tried their best to hold it, save it from selling. They managed say 8%. I was just as useless as I am today, couldn’t be of much help to them at that point in time. Sold it.
If there is one reason that I really hate myself or feel ashamed is that one thing. I was useless to them at that point in time. I feel bad, and I really miss my house. The joy in building it and buying things… from tiles to furniture’s, fixtures and lightings, selecting the paint, buying a dog…
We lived there for 6 years and we moved out. My dad will not read this blog, I know he would have felt miserable selling that house, his life time achievement. All I could say to him is I’m Sorry! I was just useless! And I could never do anything, anymore to make you feel happy! I really am sorry!
My dog died in 2 moths after we moved out of that house! I am here, still as useless
Again, dad gets a job and we move out. This cycle repeated itself thrice till I was 16. Dad found a decent job after that and we always lived alone! There was no looking back. Dad, the hard worker that he is took about 6 years from then to build a 3000 sqft house, for us. It was a lavish house, I still wonder how dad managed to build it in six years! The house, our prized possession, built with so much hard work, love and care.
Life is a cycle. Dad went in to a financial crunch and we sold out house. We sold it cause we had problems worth 10% of the cost of the house. Dad and my brother tried their best to hold it, save it from selling. They managed say 8%. I was just as useless as I am today, couldn’t be of much help to them at that point in time. Sold it.
If there is one reason that I really hate myself or feel ashamed is that one thing. I was useless to them at that point in time. I feel bad, and I really miss my house. The joy in building it and buying things… from tiles to furniture’s, fixtures and lightings, selecting the paint, buying a dog…
We lived there for 6 years and we moved out. My dad will not read this blog, I know he would have felt miserable selling that house, his life time achievement. All I could say to him is I’m Sorry! I was just useless! And I could never do anything, anymore to make you feel happy! I really am sorry!
My dog died in 2 moths after we moved out of that house! I am here, still as useless
1 comment:
It is not your fault! I know it must be hard for you...but don't let that spoil whatever you hope and desire. That must be your motivation. Keep the faith!!
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