My rage as a seven-year-old was furious and endless sometimes it could argue with an atomic bomb or adults five times my size. When I figured this out, I also figured that my rage gave me the will to survive.
Survival to me means learning to protect the soul from disabling blows rather than fighting back. Anger has always helped me to overcome situations and save my soul from being curled. It helped me to fight back, helped me to prove. Even when I play shuttle, when I’m 13 – 2 down, my rage has helped to me to come back and win many a games (If Gangai is reading it, still cant forget the game me and Fari played against Shiva and John, same 13 – 2 down and we won!!!)
The reasons I don't understand, however am glad that I transmuted my anger and rage to fight for competence, I would say. It always helped me to derive and trade one survival strategy for another.
In my teens filled with rage, I discerned the need for intellectual growth and financial power and am devoting much of my adult life acquiring and cultivating it. One start up firm, holding responsible and respective designations, a loved and successful relationship would compliment it.
It will however take me a long time to understand may be a very longer time in terms with the results. I live in a world where competence and the drive exhibited are the key sources of power. Rage and anger would help attain this competency, if you honestly use it as a fuel to fight against – I thought.
Now being an adult, I reexamine my views on life, and how I grew up I wonder nothing has been constant. I don’t have the same kind of rage and anger what I had in my teens or may be some 3 years before. I have met a lot of people, not different than mine who have thier own views and perspectives on life. Everybody thinks or beleive that thier way is unique, sure it is, and thats is the only way to attain the competency that I was talking about.
I definetly have subtled down, I definetly have... everybody will when our fantasies are overwhelmed by reality. Rage, Anger, Emotions, Power, Competency...whatever it is, we at some point of time would just pray that life goes on... with no hazzles. Our views, thoughts, visions, emotions all would be zeroed when we just want our life to go on.
Reality... WILL ALWAYS OVERWHELM OUR DREAMS AND FANTASIES!!! we like it or not... I for sure don't like it!
1 comment:
Well u want me to add a comment...so here it goes. it is an art to ramble sweet nothings and seriously i cannot do it....Way to go!!
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